When I decided to write this, I was very emotional. I thought about how terrible it was for me to get pregnant at 15.
Then I thought, is that really the worst thing that could have happened? It truly could’ve been a lot worse. I could’ve been raped. I could’ve gotten pregnant by a loser who didn’t want to take care of me. I could’ve had parents that didn’t care at all what happened to me or disowned me for my careless choice.
I have made it through this with a beautiful family and some wisdom to share. I want you to know that you will make it through this as well.
My life has forever been changed by the precious life that was brought by my mistake. There is a silver lining to every heartache. There is a new beginning to every end.
We all have those feelings of happiness, pride and even embarrassment as a young mother. My mother was also a teen mom and she had some things to say.
“I got pregnant at 16, but I got married first. Why on earth did I do this? I thought that by leaving my parents I would have more freedom. I am telling you now, so you know, I was wrong. Of course it lead to pregnancy which made it hard for me to finish school. While my friends were at prom and doing teenager things, I was stuck at home with a baby. I was young and had no idea what i was doing. I felt so strange and had an in-between feeling of not fitting in with my peers or even people older than me.
I watched my sister in-laws go out all dressed up and I was very jealous because I never got to date. I had a lot of embarrassing moments like taking my kids to town and having my little red head throw the most outrageous fits, so bad that I totally walked away from her. Of course I had super mom powers that allowed me to still track her and then of course when she knew she had lost, she came to find me.
I would have to do things like change diapers now that I was a mom. I was with a group of family and friends and doing my duty, I didn’t think about if it was proper to change my daughter in front of everyone. When you are immature, you care about what others think so much that you get embarrassed easily. Next time, I asked what was preferred in everyone’s presence.
I was always peer pressured into doing “the right thing” instead of what I thought was best. Inner conflict of my own beliefs and how everyone told me I should raise my kids caused more trouble than good. I should’ve listened to my own instincts. But, every mistake I made, I learned important lessons. I grew up with my kids.
Not all times were embarrassing or heart-wrenching pain of missing out, though. I had good times with my girls and even witnessed some head shaking hilarious things that my kids did.
Like when my eldest and her cousin were hanging out at their aunt’s house. She had a fish tank and I came to check on them and they were crying and spitting something out. “What’s wrong, what happened?” I asked. “We ate the fish and they tasted awful!” they exclaimed. Of course this is just one story of silliness.
There have been so many proud moments that I believe truly make up for the loss of my teen years. I am overwhelmed with happiness to see every accomplishment that my daughters achieve. I went to as many school events as I could. I loved to see their happy family moments and know that I helped create that. My grandkids are by far, the most important things in this world to me. I have the honor of watching them grow. My daughters continue to do things in their lives that astound me. I am very fortunate to have spent my years as their mother.”
In closing, i just want to reach out to other teen mothers and say….
Don’t wait. Your child needs you, but you also need you. So..
Go after your dreams. Yes, you can accomplish it, even with a child.
Finish school. Don’t give up and say that this is as good as it gets, educate yourself.
Don’t let ANYONE, even the man you love, hold you back or influence your decisions.
Be smart and wait to have more kids until you have yourself established.
Be yourself and don’t let people brainwash you to think you have to parent like them.
What are some of the things you struggled with being a young mom?
How did you overcome them?
Comment and share this article to help other moms like you.