Having kids can be the blessing of a lifetime for couples. We find out we’re pregnant and the thrill is the best feeling ever!
Then come the sleepless nights and midnight feedings…followed by the shared diaper duty and cleaning up after a little rugrat that just learned to walk. All of these things are still so worth every minute, but where does the time go for you and your boyfriend/husband?
What used to be date night, now consists of falling asleep before 9 pm on a Friday. Finding a sitter on a weekend without spending a fortune? Better hope grandma lives nearby!
So… how do you keep your identity as the girlfriend/wife when the role of “mommy” has taken over? Don’t freak out because it’s totally possible to do both!
First things first, make sure you set aside 15 minutes for YOU to do things that make you feel good about yourself.
Even if it’s an at-home pedicure while baby is napping or splurging on a new shade of lipstick while you’re out buying baby wipes at the drugstore. Those tiny little things will make such a difference and you should do it! Because damn it, you’re worth it!
Ok, now what about him? Make sure you take the time through all the demands of work, kids, and errands to just stop your brain (I know this part is near impossible for moms) and remember why you fell in love with him in the first place.
It sounds silly, but when they say “you hurt the ones you love” it’s totally true. Your man is the one who stands on the front lines when you’re exhausted or frustrated and even if it’s not his fault, you betcha sometimes we’re gonna make it seem like it is! Just remember, you guys are on the same team.
Make time, not excuses. Yes, I mean grown-up time, not family time.
While family time is oh-so important and we LOVE spending every waking minute with our babies, we NEED adult time too. I know, you’re reading this and already making a list of reasons you can’t find the time, but you know what? Throw that list out the window! Focus on finding a family member or friend that can babysit for even just 30 minutes while you go on a walk together if you can’t get away. Plan and schedule a date night for dinner, coffee, going out for drinks. If you’re a SAHM with kids in school, meet the hubby at work for lunch. If you’re housebound, find ways to squeeze in one-on-one time when the kids are sleeping if you have to!
When you’re young parents you tend to get caught up in being “parents” and forgetting the “young” part. Don’t let yourselves become strangers to each other and more importantly, don’t lose yourselves in being JUST mommy and daddy.
You can be mommy, girlfriend/wifey, lover, and a human being all at the same time, I know this because don’t forget, you’re a kick-ass young mom!
What do YOU and your significant other do to help make sure you keep your relationship healthy after having kids? Share with us in the comments section below!