Past TIOT Stepmoms

TIOT: Should Stepmoms Have Boundaries?

It’s Talk It Out Tuesday!

“How much communication should you have with a stepmom? And what topics are ok for her to have an opinion on?”

We got a lot of responses to this subject and here are some of the things YMC followers had to say about this week’s question…

Momma2 two boys

 

Twitter follower @Momma2 two boys says…

Stepmoms are part of the family too and shouldn’t only be allowed to have opinions on certain things. I think this question is what’s wrong with society and viewing stepmoms. They should be treated with respect as a member of the family.

 

 

momma_salmaa

IG user @mommasalmaa says…

I don’t think they should have much of an opinion on how the child is raised. I mean, if you have a stepmom because your biological mom passed or something, then obviously she’s your mother figure so any opinion is fine. If it’s because of a divorce, then I think she has no say in anything really.

 

 

arielle_rose86

 

IG user @arielle_rose86 says…

If the stepmom plays a bigger role in the child’s life, they should have just as much say.

 

 

 

kelsey_trevor_luis

 IG user @kelsey_trevor_luis says…

I am both a stepmom and a biological mom and let me tell ya, stepmoms can really get the crap end of the stick. No matter how much you do for your step children, society in general will act like you should have no opinion and that nothing is your business. But, no matter what, all you can do is love your step children and try to be peaceful with their biological mom.

 

 

sandoval_loveIG user @sandoval_love says…

So, I’m a stepmother and have had a stepmother in my son’s life at one point. In regards to being the step mother, I used to have great communication with my daughter’s mother! Unfortunately, circumstances have changed and now we have almost zero communication and it’s really hard. I think each situation is unique and I’m not going to go into detail of ours, but it’s 100% a priority , no matter what, to keep the best interest of my “stepdaughter” (I hate calling her that) on the front lines. I think it’s beyond important to remove our personal feelings from the situation as much as possible even though it’s a huge challenge at times, especially when we have teenagers!

I also understand being on the other side of it too. At one time my son had a stepmother in his life because I was absent for the majority of the first 3 years of his life and I was honestly thankful for her. Our communication was minimal because when we did communicate she felt it was necessary to push her weight around which always led to an argument because I was insecure about my position. I had a lot to prove and did so. She did have a say so and I had to accept that but unfortunately she is no longer in the picture. When she left we were on good terms but I’m thankful for her position in my son’s life in light of my absence.

I’ve learned a lot over the past 6 years being on both sides of the fence so although I understand it’s so easy to think of a stepmother as a nuisance, it’s also important to look at our position for what it is and make the environment we provide for our children as pleasant as possible. It’s definitely challenging but can be so rewarding. I love my “stepdaughter” like she’s mine and it’s not a competition. I’ve always done my best to make it clear her mother cannot be replaced and even though things are hard and I may not agree with the lifestyle, I always have respect and do my best to be a helper instead of a road block. And I continue to pray for things to turn around! This is a great topic!

We thought this was a great topic too! Thank you to all who contributed and gave such incredible feedback from so many different viewpoints! We hope that your advice was helpful to our young mom.

Do YOU have any experience as a stepmom? Do your children have a stepmom in their lives? What is your opinion on placing boundaries on stepmoms and their involvement in their stepchild’s life? Leave a comment below!

…and don’t forget to submit YOUR Talk it out Tuesday questions so you can be featured next and get feedback and advice from young moms just like you!

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