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Stayin' Alive Keeping Your Relationship Alive After Kids

Stayin’ Alive – Keeping Your Relationship Alive After Kids

Having kids can be the blessing of a lifetime for couples. We find out we’re pregnant and the thrill is the best feeling ever!

Then come the sleepless nights and midnight feedings…followed by the shared diaper duty and cleaning up after a little rugrat that just learned to walk. All of these things are still so worth every minute, but where does the time go for you and your boyfriend/husband?exhausted parents with toys

What used to be date night, now consists of falling asleep before 9 pm on a Friday. Finding a sitter on a weekend without spending a fortune? Better hope grandma lives nearby!

So… how do you keep your identity as the girlfriend/wife when the role of “mommy” has taken over? Don’t freak out because it’s totally possible to do both!

First things first, make sure you set aside 15 minutes for YOU to do things that make you feel good about yourself.

Even if it’s an at-home pedicure while baby is napping or splurging on a new shade of lipstick while you’re out buying baby wipes at the drugstore. Those tiny little things will make such a difference and you should do it! Because damn it, you’re worth it!

Ok, now what about him? Make sure you take the time through all the demands of work, kids, and errands to just stop your brain (I know this part is near impossible for moms) and remember why you fell in love with him in the first place.

It sounds silly, but when they say “you hurt the ones you love” it’s totally true. Your man is the one who stands on the front lines when you’re exhausted or frustrated and even if it’s not his fault, you betcha sometimes we’re gonna make it seem like it is! Just remember, you guys are on the same team.fun parents

Make time, not excuses.  Yes, I mean grown-up time, not family time.

While family time is oh-so important and we LOVE spending every waking minute with our babies, we NEED adult time too. I know, you’re reading this and already making a list of reasons you can’t find the time, but you know what? Throw that list out the window! Focus on finding a family member or friend that can babysit for even just 30 minutes while you go on a walk together if you can’t get away. Plan and schedule a date night for dinner, coffee, going out for drinks. If you’re a SAHM with kids in school, meet the hubby at work for lunch. If you’re housebound, find ways to squeeze in one-on-one time when the kids are sleeping if you have to!

When you’re young parents you tend to get caught up in being “parents” and forgetting the “young” part. Don’t let yourselves become strangers to each other and more importantly, don’t lose yourselves in being JUST mommy and daddy.

You can be mommy, girlfriend/wifey, lover, and a human being all at the same time, I know this because don’t forget, you’re a kick-ass young mom!

 
What do YOU and your significant other do to help make sure you keep your relationship healthy after having kids? Share with us in the comments section below!

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The Spotlight is on: Natasha Isenhower

Young mom family TashaYoung Mom Natasha Isenhower tells us about her life as a loving mom. Meet this sweet family of young parents and cute kids!

 

Tell us about yourself and your family:

We’re an average family, just a bit younger. I recently turned 20 and my fiance is 21. We’re a family of five, just trying to figure out how to keep us all together and happy. The oldest of the three boys is actually my step son, but I love him as if he were my own flesh and blood. I’m a stay at home mom and my fiance works full time to support us. We often forget how young we are, because we live such a calm and ʺboringʺ life compared to everyone else our ages.

What were your biggest concerns when you first found out you were pregnant? How did you handle it?

My biggest concern was that I didn’t know if I was worthy of being someone’s mother. I was also worried about getting attached to the little baby growing inside, only to have a miscarriage. It didn’t seem real for a long time.
I handled it pretty well, actually. Before I found out I was pregnant with my first, I was going no where in my life. I didn’t care, I guess. I was failing nearly every class, I was burning every bridge with family and loved ones. But the day I saw those two lines on that pregnancy test, I turned it all around. I contacted every teacher and asked what I could do. I got a job after high school, I saved up money for a deposit to our own place, we worked together to provide everything ourselves.

What kinds of things do you do to treat yourself, for fun and to stay relaxed?

I don’t really allow myself time away from them. I feel lost without my boys. I’d much rather go somewhere as a family, than alone or just with my fiance. We love bringing them to the zoo, underwater world, the park and on little adventures.
I take my time to myself and with their father at the end of the day, once they’re all asleep. We’ll cuddle up and watch a movie together, catch up on each other’s days, etc. I wouldn’t have it any other way!

Natasha young mom coupleWhat are your favorite things about being a mom?

I love watching them grow and becoming their own person. I love being their first example of a friend. I just love it all! Well, minus the smelly diapers 😉

Where do you see yourself in 5 years? If you didn’t have any obstacles, what dream would you pursue?

I see us settled in our own house, making it our home. I see both my fiance and I in college and working to better our lives for the three little boys who depend on us. I’m already pursuing my dream, by being their mother.

What advice would you give to other young girls who just found out they’re pregnant or recently became a mom?

Pay no mind to whomever you feel is judging you. I was so focused on everyone else and what they thought for the longest. At the end of the day, your child, you and whoever else is involved with good intention is all that matters. Not someone who will kill to see you fail.

This is her story of being a happy young mom, what’s yours?

Leave her a comment or share how you relate 🙂

 

 

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The Spotlight is On: Leanna Bruce

This stylish single mom tells us her story and lets you know you can do it too! Hear how Leanna Bruce is an inspiring young mom!

 

Tell us about yourself and your family:

I am a newly single mom. I was in an abusive relationship and left.
My daughter is 22 months old and the light of my world. She’s allergic to chocolate, and may possibly have asthma.young mom Leanna
I am 23 years old, and a hairstylist. I am in school to own my own salon one day!

What were your biggest concerns when you first found out you were pregnant? How did you handle it?

My biggest concern was how could I afford to take care of such a small human?
I got a job, as did her father. he travels for work renovating tmobiles.

 What kinds of things do you do to treat yourself, for fun and to stay relaxed?

I treat myself to a new hair color, and get my nails done.
Mama has to be pampered too!

What are your favorite things about being a mom?

I love watching my daughter grow and learn. I love her faces when she discovers she can do something new.

Where do you see yourself in 5 years? If you didn’t have any obstacles, what dream would you pursue?

In 5 years I see myself in my own salon just making a good life for my daughter and I.
If I could pursue a dream it would to be a platform artist… basically the BEST hair stylist are this.

What advice would you give to other young girls who just found out they’re pregnant or recently became a mom?

Don’t give up, sleep when you can, take the help.

No matter what anybody says, you can do it.

 

Great job for sharing, Leanna! Love your young mom story!

Let her know how much you liked her article by commenting below 🙂

Want to be a Spotlighted Young Mom? Share your story here.

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The Spotlight is On: Molly Sharp

Being a teen mother can be very difficult, but this young mom is staying positive and pursuing her future. Listen to how Molly Sharp is overcoming obstacles and raising her daughter.

Tell us about yourself and your family: I am a very young mom. Probably younger than most. I had my daughter at the age of 14. I am a single mom and have always done everything on my own. I have no idea what it feels like to have a family since my daughters father has never stuck around. My daughter will be 3 in December. Her name is Rylie Mae. She’s the biggest accomplishment of my life and she is what keeps me going. Although I am a teen mom I work my hardest to keep us happy and healthy and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

What were your biggest concerns when you first found out you were pregnant? How did you handle it?

How I would graduate and how my friends and family would look at me. I lost a lot of friends which wasn’t a big deal to me because my family was very loving and supportive. I didn’t give up in school and I will be graduating in 2014 🙂

What kinds of things do you do to treat yourself, for fun and to stay relaxed?

To treat myself I like to get my hair done but it only happens about 4 times a year. For fun I go out to eat with my friends and to stay relaxed I like to go on runs or car drives.

What are your favorite things about being a mom?

Its rewarding. Seeing my daughter smile and laugh and be the smartest toddler I know makes me feel good like I’m doing something right.

Where do you see yourself in 5 years? If you didn’t have any obstacles, what dream would you pursue?

In five years I want to be almost done with college living on my own with my daughter and just being healthy and happy. I don’t expect too much.

What advice would you give to other young girls who just found out they’re pregnant or recently became a mom?

I would advise them to always think of their child before themselves. Don’t do something you wouldn’t want your child doing. Also, if your child’s father doesn’t seem to be interested.. DO NOT give your child his last name. You will regret it in the long run!

A great story like yours is encouraging to other teen moms. Being a young mom with positivity is a great influence!

If you enjoyed this story and would like Molly to know you wish her well, please do so in the comments below! 🙂