Posts

TIOT - When Should I Tell Him I Have Kids

TIOT: When Do You Tell a Guy You Have Kids?

It’s Talk It Out Tuesday!

“When is the right time to tell a guy you have children? Is the first date too soon?”

This question was sent in by a young mom hitting the dating scene. We got lots of responses from women and even a guy’s perspective! Check out what YMC followers said about this week’s question…

FB User Aubrie Phenix

 

Facebook User Aubrie Phenix says… I’d say tell them right away, first date or sooner. They deserve to know the package deal they’d be getting. Not to mention, if they won’t give you a chance just because you have kids, chances are they wouldn’t make a very good father and it’s not someone you would want in their lives or yours anyway.

 

IG User waitingongrace

 

 

IG user @waitingongrace says… I’d tell him, but I wouldn’t bring him home to the kiddos until you’re sure he’ll stick around.

 

IG User jasminder_03


 

IG user @jasminder_03 says… Before the first date to see if they’re still interested. Why waste your time if they don’t want someone with kids? But I agree, definitely don’t introduce them to the kids.

FB User Ryan Schlotter

 

 

 

Facebook User Ryan Schlotter says… We deserve to know ASAP.

 

IG User prvncess_lyric

 

IG user @prvncess_lyric says… You should let them know soon. If he doesn’t want to stick around, don’t get pissed or upset because you should never let someone come before your child/children. If he doesn’t care about you having kids, then that’s great. But you should never introduce your kids and your date until you know for sure he’s the right guy. It’s only right.

Thanks for your opinions everyone! All of the ladies (and guy) seem to be on the same page. What do you think?

Are YOU a young mom on the dating scene who has told your dates about your kid/kids? Are you a guy who has dated young, single moms? When were you told about her children? Leave a comment below!

…and don’t forget to submit YOUR Talk it out Tuesday questions so you can be featured next and get feedback and advice from young moms just like you!

10 Ways for Single Moms to have a Fun and Healthy dating life

I was in a relationship and married for 7 years. Though I got two beautiful sons out of it, the relationship was not healthy or happy for me.
From the time I was 19 till I was 26 I hadn’t dated… So this whole new dating life is like a roller coaster that freaks the hell out of me.

I recently had my first experience of dating. To say the least, we are obviously not together any longer. But I did learn a lot…

I learned that I always wear my heart on my sleeve and go to the moon and back for people I love. I’ve learned to slow the F— down and not to just jump in head first. I just felt that I wasn’t being true to myself if I wasn’t completely emerged into the person. Damn.
I was so confused. For me the hardest part is letting go. Mainly because I learned to cope in a bad relationship and just deal with all the negative stuff and work through it. It’s hard because its just like losing a friend.
I value all the people in my life and all my experiences. But I know that there just comes a point that if the other person isn’t willing to go the extra mile then I just have to move on.
I know I gave my all, which in my part is more painful…I was genuine and real. There are just so many rules and bullshit when it comes to dating.
I imagine that with the right person it won’t be this way. But the book “He’s just not that into you” was an absolute must read! It might sound silly but it gave me a whole new point of view. I’m just a fool to fall in love, That’s my curse: I love romance and love and relationships.

The best quote that can sum up my experience is..

“Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.” (Click to tweet, if you love this quote, too)

I know this might seem a little harsh.. I use this only because there are so many men out there who will sweet talk your panties right off! Who will use you for whatever they want!
Just because you talk to someone for 6 months does NOT mean you know them. You just know what they want you to know.

You have to really spend time with a person before you start to see who they really are. That is why I stress on telling you to wait to introduce your kids to anyone too early. Building trust takes time and patience. And any man who is willing to rise up and help build that foundation is worth knowing. I’d say 85% of the men you are going to meet are all just “talkers”.

dating tips for single moms“Of course I want to be with you, I love you, I’m a good man,” Psssh! I’ve heard it ALL! Be choosey! Keep your standards high.

Don’t be fooled by the wolf bearing sheep’s clothing! Meaning, just because this guy has SOME of the qualities your looking for, DOES NOT mean he’s the right guy.
If even for a second you feel unsure, then its not right. “When in doubt, don’t”. This is your opportunity to really discover who you are and what you really want from life and a partner. Get down to the nitty-gritty. Make a list, keep a journal.

Just have fun and relax. The right guy will pop up when you are not even looking.

As a single mommy I want for us all to fall in love… with the right person, NOT just Mr. right now.

We can still have fun along the journey to the right guy, but just not with assholes!

You can always email me if you are feeling confused or are questioning yourself about the person you are dating. Trust me. I will tell you he’s an asshole. Just be prepared for the answer!

Here are 10 ways to ensure a Fun- and Healthy- dating life

1. Know your worth. I know what I deserve and how I should be treated.

2. NEVER settle. Not even a little bit. Stay true to what you really want in a partner. BE STRONG.

3. If it feels wrong, then IT IS! Don’t waste time on anyone that feels fake.

4. It’s OKAY to get hurt. As long as you know in your heart you were real then you win the good karma!

5. Go slow…WAIT to introduce your kids to someone for at least 6 months or MORE!

6. Make sure he is a GENTLEMAN! If he’s not paying for dinner or drinks, how could he ever support you or your kids?

7. Stay focused on your life and your kids! The right person will blend easy and you will stay on track!

8. “You can never make the same mistake twice because the second time you make it, it’s not a mistake. It’s a choice.” This quote means to me that if the guy is screwing up and making bad decisions, then you need to let him go. Don’t give him another chance to hurt you. You are worth more than that.

9. Birth control…

10. ENJOY yourself! If you’re dating someone who makes you feel insecure with yourself or him, then screw him! There are so many other guys who will make you feel happy and secure!

About the Author: Michelle King is a single mommy of two living in Las Vegas. She works from home freelance writing and sharpening her day trading skills. She’s committed to fitness and devoted to her children. Life is big to her and she lives life to the fullest. For more info on Michelle click here.

10 Ways for Single Moms to have a Fun and Healthy dating life