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What do Single Fathers Look for in a Girl-

What do Single Fathers Look For in a Girl?

We all know dating and finding the right guy can be a challenge when you’re a single mom. But what about when you’re a single dad?

We don’t spend a lot of time focusing on single dads here at Young Mom’s Club, but we know it can be difficult to find the right kind of woman that you want to date and to feel comfortable introducing to your kids. We wanted to know what qualities guys are looking for in a partner when they’re on the dating scene and this is what they had to say:

 

nick single dad

Nick Brannigan believes his perfect woman should have these qualities:

 If they have children they kids are as polite, respectful and well behaved as mine.
Respects her body. Workouts out on a regular basis and has good dietary habits.
Genuinely sweet person.
Likes kids (duh!)
Consciouspreneur mindset


Evan Louie looks for these things in a partner:

Has strong family values (if she is single) and bonds well with children.
Kind, compassionate, caring, and nurturing.
Intelligent, responsible, and ambitious (my own personal traits I look for).
Knows how to have fun and a sense of humor. It takes a playful sense to be around children.
Is open minded and sees a broader sense of the world. She can pass that ideology to my child.

evan single dad


brian single dad

Brian Burge believes that his ideal woman should be:

Down to earth
Open minded
Kind-hearted
Adventurous
Trustworthy



Rory Byrne believes that the most important thing in a partner is:

Someone with similar goals and lifestyle.
A person that appreciates my child.
Someone who isn’t afraid to have the family expansion talk (this should take place sooner than later).
I have found the love part is temporarily the most important. Its after that you find if you can be good business partners.
To find someone that loves me for me.

rory byrne single dad


adam boaz single dad

Adam Boaz has become more guarded after he separated from his son’s mother so he looks for:

Someone who will love my son because he comes first.
Has to have a strong, loving character.
Must have a lot of patience.
A “motherly” instinct or quality (but doesn’t necessarily have to already be a mother).
No more girls who are still in their “partying” phase!

 

So, ladies, do you think that you have what it takes to date a single dad? Thanks so much to the guys who shared with us and gave us an inside look at what single fathers are really looking for! If you’re a single guy with kids who is reading this and you have something to add that might be on your list, comment below and let us know. We would love to hear what other dads have to say on the subject! 🙂

Handling the -Ex-Factor- Blog Image

Handling the “Ex-Factor”

As much as I would love to say this blog is about the TV show X-Factor (one of my guilty pleasures)…. It’s not.

Your guess was totally right when you figured out this article is dedicated to dealing with difficult exes. I bet you a million bucks 90% of people reading this article immediately thought of someone from a past relationship when they read that title. Maybe you didn’t think of the father of your kids, maybe you did… maybe you’re a guy reading this and you thought about your crazy ex-girlfriend. No matter who it was that came to mind, this blog post might be helpful to you.

I thought about writing this because when I talked to my ex-husband today (the father of my youngest daughter) he lied to me about where he was with my daughter so I couldn’t try to pick her up early for a birthday party we had planned to go to. Now don’t get me wrong, he’s totally allowed to say “no” to me picking her up early, but seriously lying about it instead of just saying no? In my book. that’s pretty lame. Anyways, my boyfriend got irritated to all hell and does quite a bit when it comes to having to put up with a lot of the really crazy stuff my ex has pulled in the past. But one thing my boyfriend can’t figure out is why I don’t get crazy upset or frustrated when this kind of stuff happens… It’s because I have learned to “handle the ex-factor”.  Let me explain: When I went through my divorce, and for a while after, I used to get so stressed out because my ex wouldn’t want to pick up our daughter on time, he would never take the day off if she was sick, he would criticize me constantly, he would always tell me “it’s not my day” if I asked for any help aside from court ordered visitation (like when I was in the hospital), and he would constantly take out his bad moods on me anytime we would interact. I would get angry, I would bitch to my friends and family about it, I would cry, and I would get bitchy towards other people even though it wasn’t their fault I was upset. So one night, I’m sitting in a college class learning about interpersonal communication (go figure) and I decide to stay after class to talk to the teacher. The guy is probably one of the most inspiring people to walk the planet and has the most amazing outlook on life I’ve ever seen and loves to listen and help others. So I tell him about something stupid my ex did to piss me off that day and how frustrated I am ALL the time. He literally stops me in my tracks and tells me, “Why do you care?” Honestly, that caught me off guard at first. What do you mean? Of course I care! He’s a jerk! He likes to frustrate me and I get so mad when he messes with me and yells at me. Who wouldn’t care? But then I realized exactly what he meant. Why do I LET myself care? My ex is going to be a jerk whether I like it or not. No, I don’t have to let him walk all over me, but I shouldn’t let his outbursts affect my mood. Why should I let his bad day ruin mine too? And that’s when I heard the words that would change my outlook on life… happiness collage

“Acceptance is the key to happiness”

Once I learned to accept that my ex was the way he is and I have NO control over that (which, by the way, is a good reminder of why we aren’t together anymore) I can learn to ACCEPT him for who he is. I may not really like it, agree with it, or condone it. I do not have to let him trample my feelings or condone him acting like a complete idiot. BUT, I no longer let it aggravate me. I accept that the only thing I am able control in sucky situations with him, are MY feelings and reactions. So why let him ruin MY day?

So now, whenever my ex causes drama or wants to yell at me. I reply calmly and rationally. I stand my ground but I don’t lose my temper or yell back or cry anymore. Because I have accepted that he will never change, and even if he does, I can’t do anything to change him. So in 5 minutes, I’m going to move on with my life and go back to my awesome day and he can go try to ruin someone else’s mood.  *Added bonus: When they don’t get a reaction out of you, they tend to give up eventually or at the very least, you piss them off by not getting upset and that always makes me smile a little bit*

acceptance is the key to happiness

So now that you have a new way to look at things when dealing with YOUR “Ex-Factor” what do you think? Does this seem like a strategy that might help you out? Do you have other ways that you find work for you that you want to share with other people that might need the advice? Comment below! I would LOVE to hear your feedback and ideas!   🙂

how-to-turn-down-a-date

How to turn down a Date

I have a long distance boyfriend, so a lot of times when I go to events or out with friends, it appears that I’m single and guys will ask me out and I’ll be in that awkward situation where I have to say “No”. It also doesn’t help that I don’t wear a ring. (Hint: Boyfriend, if you’re reading this!)

::crickets::  ::awkward silence::

Actually though, when I was married and I wore a ring, I still sometimes got hit on! Some guys look at a wedding ring as challenge. We call these ones “douchebags”. Even though I could just hold up my ring finger and say “Married!” it was still uncomfortable to have to turn guys down.

dating danielle ford picBut the worst times I’ve gotten asked out would have to be be when I was single. Sometimes I was just barely surviving, trying to get myself together and not focused on dating. Sometimes I just didn’t want to go out with the dude.

Regardless, once again I was put into that uncomfortable situation of having to say, “No.”

I wish that during my marriage and after my divorce I knew the right way to turn down a date. It would’ve saved me a lot of stress and wasted energy.

In today’s video, I’m going to tell you how most girls turn down a date, which is the absolute wrong way.

I’ve been guilty of this many times. Thankfully I figured it out and when I get asked out and have to decline, I do it without hurting anyone’s ego or feelings and I feel really good about it afterwards. No more awkwardness.

Watch the video to learn how to turn down a date..


Now I wanna know about your awkward dating proposals.. When’s the most uncomfortable-est you’ve felt when turning down a date? Any creepers?? How did you handle them?

Let’s chat about it!

If you liked this video, be sure to share with a friend who you think would like it, too! 🙂

<3 Danielle

Stayin' Alive Keeping Your Relationship Alive After Kids

Stayin’ Alive – Keeping Your Relationship Alive After Kids

Having kids can be the blessing of a lifetime for couples. We find out we’re pregnant and the thrill is the best feeling ever!

Then come the sleepless nights and midnight feedings…followed by the shared diaper duty and cleaning up after a little rugrat that just learned to walk. All of these things are still so worth every minute, but where does the time go for you and your boyfriend/husband?exhausted parents with toys

What used to be date night, now consists of falling asleep before 9 pm on a Friday. Finding a sitter on a weekend without spending a fortune? Better hope grandma lives nearby!

So… how do you keep your identity as the girlfriend/wife when the role of “mommy” has taken over? Don’t freak out because it’s totally possible to do both!

First things first, make sure you set aside 15 minutes for YOU to do things that make you feel good about yourself.

Even if it’s an at-home pedicure while baby is napping or splurging on a new shade of lipstick while you’re out buying baby wipes at the drugstore. Those tiny little things will make such a difference and you should do it! Because damn it, you’re worth it!

Ok, now what about him? Make sure you take the time through all the demands of work, kids, and errands to just stop your brain (I know this part is near impossible for moms) and remember why you fell in love with him in the first place.

It sounds silly, but when they say “you hurt the ones you love” it’s totally true. Your man is the one who stands on the front lines when you’re exhausted or frustrated and even if it’s not his fault, you betcha sometimes we’re gonna make it seem like it is! Just remember, you guys are on the same team.fun parents

Make time, not excuses.  Yes, I mean grown-up time, not family time.

While family time is oh-so important and we LOVE spending every waking minute with our babies, we NEED adult time too. I know, you’re reading this and already making a list of reasons you can’t find the time, but you know what? Throw that list out the window! Focus on finding a family member or friend that can babysit for even just 30 minutes while you go on a walk together if you can’t get away. Plan and schedule a date night for dinner, coffee, going out for drinks. If you’re a SAHM with kids in school, meet the hubby at work for lunch. If you’re housebound, find ways to squeeze in one-on-one time when the kids are sleeping if you have to!

When you’re young parents you tend to get caught up in being “parents” and forgetting the “young” part. Don’t let yourselves become strangers to each other and more importantly, don’t lose yourselves in being JUST mommy and daddy.

You can be mommy, girlfriend/wifey, lover, and a human being all at the same time, I know this because don’t forget, you’re a kick-ass young mom!

 
What do YOU and your significant other do to help make sure you keep your relationship healthy after having kids? Share with us in the comments section below!