I consider myself a woman leader, so when I saw Forbes’ article about 12 Woman Leaders’ morning routines, it intrigued me.
…(Still waiting on that email, Forbes!)
Here are some examples included in the article, of what woman leaders do to start their day:
“4:45 am Wake up and have a bowl of quinoa cereal. I do an hour or so of 3rd or 4th series ashtanga yoga.”
-Wait a minute– there’s a 4:45 AM?! I only know of 4:45 PM and then 4:45 really, really late at night.
“6:00 am My little ladies wake up and I make their breakfast—green milk (almond milk with coconut water, banana and steamed baby spinach)”
-WTF is “green milk’? oh..
“7:15 am Wake the kids and give/get lots of kisses.”
-Are my kids the only ones with terrible morning breath?
You can read the full article at Forbes.com but since my letter from Forbes apparently got lost in the mail, I decided to post my routine right here…
6:45 am Alarm goes off. I wonder to myself why the f*** I’m awake before 7, why the kids’ school can’t start at 9 like everyone else’s, and then fall back asleep because I have a 2nd alarm already set for 6:55 am.
6:55 am Second alarm goes off. I remove my sleep mask and pull my dog in close. I hold her in the fetal position while telling her how much I love her and improvising parodies of pop songs, switching the lyrics for her name. Today’s was “I’m bringing Rosie backkkk.. Them other puppies don’t know how to actttt..”
7:00 am Carry dog into 1st sleeping child’s bedroom and throw dog on sleeping child while pointing and shouting “Rosie attack!” Dog proceeds to jump, lick and nibble at sleeping child’s face while I engage in “comforter tug-of-war” with sleeping child.
7:05 am Repeat this process with sleeping child #2.
7:10 Look at makeup bag. Consider putting makeup on. Laugh. Look at curling iron. Consider curling hair. Laugh. But hair in messy bun. Get dressed into my workout clothes, knowing that wearing my workout clothes the entire day is the only way I’ll actually make it to a workout around noon.
7:15-7:30 Shout things at children upstairs like, “Get dressed! Teeth brushed! Leave your sister alone!” from downstairs while I sit on my couch checking Facebook and email and texting my boyfriend in detail about the vivid dreams I had where he died. Then I tell him that he better not actually die, or I’ll kill him.
7:30 Start to leave the house and remember that kids need to eat, so I make them something like cereal or peanut butter and jelly toast and tell them to eat it quicker than they’ve ever eaten anything in their life.
7:40 We actually leave the house.
7:45 Drop the kids off at school.
7:50 Back at home. Play with dog. Gather everything I will need that day.. computer, notebooks, headphones, etc.
8:00 Head off to my coffee shop of choice for the day and proceed to ignore all people and work on my tasks.
So there is my woman leader morning routine. I know, it’s pretty impressive. Forbes, if you need to know my nightly routine, as well, I can make that happen…