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never get offended

Never get Offended again! (if you remember these 2 things)

Here’s a fact about me: I like, never get offended.

Even if people are mean to me, talk behind my back or say horrible things to my face. I just don’t take offense to it. Even if it’s true.

It wasn’t always like this, though.. I spent most of my childhood, teen years and early twenties being offended when people were mean to me, which was a lot.

But then one day I noticed that I hadn’t been offended in long time, like years. At first I thought that maybe I had just built up a tolerance. But after really thinking about it, it dawned on me that nothing had really changed except my thinking about 2 things in particular.

So if you ever get your feelings hurt about things people say to you or about you, if you take it personally that certain people are trying to hurt your feelings or if you are trying to figure out why people are such rude assholes sometimes, then you’ll want to watch today’s Figure it Out Friday video..

Never get Offended again! (if you remember these 2 things)- Video Transcript

Hey, Whats up, it’s Danielle Ford, the founder of Young Moms Club where young moms go to empower themselves and design their perfect lives.

I’ve encountered a lot, a lot , a lot, a lot.. of offensive women in my life and I also had a really offensive husband, so I am no stranger to being offended.

And it’s probably because of those people, it’s kind of one of those “glass is half full” kinds of things but it’s probably because of them that I don’t really get offended, it takes a lot for me to get offended by something.

I still encounter people who say rude things or who don’t like me (if you can believe that) , it still happens to me but I can’t even remember for the life of me the last time I actually got offend by somebody.

So in today’s video I’m going to tell you the realizations I’ve had that assured that I never get offended by anyone ever again, so keep watching.

There are 2 things that you need to have in place to make sure that you never ever get offended again.

never get offended againNumber one is: You need to accept yourself the way you are. Now you don’t necessarily have to like it, but you have to accept it.

And number two is: You have to fully accept the fact that you don’t have any control over any other people. The absolute only person you have any control over whatsoever is yourself.

And If you fully understand and accept those two things then you’re never going to be offended again and the reason for that is really simple.

When someone says something that is offensive, then their opinion is either one of 2 things. It’s either wrong or its right, right?

So if their opinion is wrong, like if somebody says something that is wrong, well then, who really cares? Like  what if somebody says like “You’re a bad mom”.. If you know that you’re not a bad mom then why do you care what they think? Even if they give an example tof something you did that they think is and like “You picked your kids up late, or you’re too protective, or you’re not protective enough, or you’re this or you’re that”. Even if they’re right about that, maybe, but you know that you’re not a bad mom, then who cares? Why should you care about that? They’re completely wrong. Fuck em.

And that applies to everything, your appearance, your skills, your smarts, whatever. If someones giving you their opinion, it’s negative and they’re wrong, there’s no reason to take offense to it.

Now there is a second element to that can make you offended if you choose to, and its when someone says something offensive and you know you’re wrong like we just talked about- or you know they’re wrong- like we just talked about but then you take offenses to the fact  that they said it. You’re like “well why would you say that! You know how hard I try to work be a good mom. I’m so offended that you said that to me” well that’s where the second part comes in

Because If you fully realize that you don’t have control over other people, you do not need to understand them, you do not need to agree with them whatsoever, then there’s no reason to be offended.

So if like your best friend out of nowhere is like “You’re a shitty mom” instead of being like “oh my god, she thinks I’m a shitty mom” you would be like “hmm well that’s not true”, you know? and then, instead of being like “why would she say that? why is she trying to hurt me?” you know you can be like “well I don’t have control over her and I wonder why she’s doing that did something happen? why is she being a bitch? is she posing, you know, whats going on?” and so you know it’s not personal, you don’t take offense to it. And then you can then choose to go deeper into it, or not, it’s your choice, but there’s no reason to get offended by it because it’s not true and you cant control her.

Now what if someone says something to offend you and they’re right? Well that is where fully accepting yourself  comes in. And I’m not saying that it’s easy, it’s something that everybody struggles with, but you have to do it, you have to really work on fully accepting yourself.

You have to fully accept that you are in the right spot, the way you look, where you are, financially, whatever else is going on, your family, your career, all that stuff, you are right now, where you need to be.

And that doesn’t mean that you need to be 100% happy with it and you can be wanting to change your appearance somehow or wanting to work on your education or grow in your career or change where you live, or whatever, but you have to fully accept and love the way that you are right now, that’s so important, just love yourself, imperfections and all.

So then if someone offends you and they’re right, then you’re just like “Ok tell me something I don’t know.”

And then we’re back to that other topic of like “Why would they say that, to me, you know, why would they want to hurt me and offend me in that way.” and then we go back to the fact that we can’t control other people, we have no control over other people, we have no understanding of why they do the things they do, we don’t need to understand it, and we don’t need to validate  like why they’re such an asshole.

So lets say that maybe you’ve had a baby and maybe you have some weight to lose. And you’re not happy with it and you look at your body and you’re like “Oh man I really wanna lose some weight, maybe I should diet, exercise, yada yada”. But in the mean time, you’re like, “This is my body, I had a child, this is what happens, I love myself,” and just be happy with the way you are.

So now let’s say that you get in a fight with your boyfriend and he knows all your insecurities, he knows what’s going to hurt you, and he knows that you wanna lose some weight, and that you might not be 100% comfortable with your appearance, and so you know, you get in a fight and he’s like “Well you’re fat” cause he’s really trying to hurt you.

But that’s not gonna hurt you or upset you!or offend Because you love yourself the way you are, and even if he is right, you know it doesn’t matter because you’re happy with how you are and you’re right in the exact spot that you need to be. And of course again that crosses over into the like, “Why would he say that” aspect and you have no reason to understand everything he does because that would make you crazy, it’s not your place to know why he’s being a total dick. The reasons behind why he’s being a total dick crosses into relationship advice and that’s just like a whole other video or series of videos.

But that’s all for today. So my point is really just love yourself, be happy with where you are, you don’t have to necessarily love it, you can want to change, there’s a million things that I want to change, you know, like I’m always working on stuff, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not happy with where I am right now.

And if you really get all spiritual and everything and you really believe that everything happens for a reason, then you can’t not believe that you are in the right spot, right now, and just remember not to let anyone offend you, not to let them hurt your feelings, because whether they’re right, wrong or indifferent, you are just you and no one else is.

And as far as like, caring what other people think, my dad said something one time about my ex husband. And I couldn’t understand why he was doing some of the things he was doing and saying and everything and he’s crazy but my dad said “You cannot rationalize with an irrational person”. You can’t. If you are a sane person, then you can’t understand why somebody else is saying thing that don’t make sense or they wanna hurt you or whatever. Because if you could understand them, then you’re just as damn crazy as they are. So be lucky that you can’t.

“You cannot rationalize with an irrational person.” -Click to Tweet this wisdom

 

It’s very hard but work on loving yourself in the meantime and being very happy with where you are right now.

Ok that’s all for today, if you liked this video then please click like, subscribe to the YouTube Channel, share with any friends that need to hear this, and if you’re not part of the club yet, then head over to YoungMomsClub.com, enter your name and email and I will connect with you one on one, I’m gonna send you a free e book, its an easy read with a little work book at the end, called “The 7 Steps to Being a Kick Ass Young Mom” and I will send you videos like this weekly and any other important updates that you need to see. Ok so, thank you so much for watching, and I will see you next week.

<3 Danielle

Did you miss last week’s video?? Watch it here—-> My list of Healthy Foods: 5 things I CANNOT live without

not-good-enough-to-go-after-dreams-615

Think you’re Not Good Enough to go after Your Dreams? Think again!

We’ve covered a lot of topics about how to go after your dreams in these Figure it out Friday videos.

not good enoughWe’ve talked about things like goal setting, visualizing, getting over your fear, etc..

But sometimes what stops people from going after their big dreams is the feeling that they’re just not good enough.

Do you ever feel like that? Do you ever feel like you’re too dumb? Or too scared? You’re not a leader? You don’t have very much experience?

Do you ever feel like you’re just not good enough to go after your dreams?

To tell you the truth, I’ve felt like that many times.

In today’s video, I’m spilling the things that I absolutely SUCK at. (Brace yourself, there are a lot of them) And I’m going to tell you why I don’t let that stop me… and neither should you!

“Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole live believing it is stupid.” -Click to Tweet!

albert einstein genius quote

Now I wanna know about you! What’s your big dream? When did you feel not good enough in the past? What are you gonna do now? Let’s chat about it in the comments. <3 Danielle

secret to success

The Secret to Success is having a Great Threesome

secret to success picWanna know what the Secret to Success is?

It’s having an awesome threesome.

I’m serious!!

Watch today’s video to find out why I love having threesomes and how you can plan yours out, too!

OK So now if you watched the video or if you skipped ahead (cheater!) then you know that your Threesome is your Mentor, Role Model and Cheerleader.

But before you go, I want to know from you which of these roles you already have in place and which you still need to seek out. Let’s chat about it in the comments.

Here’s to your success, beautiful!! <3 Danielle

ramonita falcon young mother pic

How Ramonita Falcon Did It

Supermom to three and married to her high school sweetheart, Ramonita has always put her kids first.

Read on to see how she did it, raising three kids with her wonderful husband while making sure they worked together to conquer life’s hardships and give their kids the great life that they deserve.

ramonita falcon how she did it familyTell us about yourself and your family:

I’m a 39 year old mom of 3 great kids and also a wife to my high school sweetheart of 23 years. I had my first daughter, Bianca, ten days before my 18th birthday. It was also my senior year in high school! My husband, Rene, was 17 years old and also a senior in high school. We decided being pregnant was a blessing and we were excited to become parents because we were so in love. My mom was a great help and she babysat so I could graduate with my class of 1993. I decided while I was pregnant to give my daughter a better life than I had. Rene and I grew up in the projects both to single moms. Our moms didn’t work and struggled! I didn’t want to raise Bianca that way! It was my decision to work and support my daughter together with her Dad without any assistance. Thank God we were successful. When Bianca was 3 years old, Rene and I were married. Then we had our second child Vanessa. I was 22 years old and I wanted Bianca to have a sibling. Many years later, Rene wanted a son and after some marriage struggles we agreed to try one more time. I had my son Joshua when I was 28 years old. Since we began so young, our kids have 4 and 5 years between each other. I love them all so much that I would definitely do it the same way all over again.

What were the biggest challenges you had to overcome as a young mom?

As a young mom, financial responsibilities are always a challenge. I wanted Bianca to only have the best so Rene and I moved out of the projects and rented an apartment in a better area of town. So, with the financial responsibilities of having a child, we now also had to pay rent. Also, going to college was put on the back burner so I could take care of my little girl and I had to work full time to pay bills.ramonita falcon how she did it mom

What are some things you learned as a young mom, that you wish you would’ve known as soon as you got pregnant?

The amount of work that it takes to care for a baby. First of all, the pain of childbirth and how hard my body had to work to give birth to a baby. The nighttime feedings, the bathing, washing baby clothes, the crying, the fevers, and the overall responsibilities of being a good mom!

Do you have any tips or advice for staying on track with your goals and dreams?

I decided to give my daughter a better life and I thought about it day and night. I had to train my mind to want and work towards working hard to give Bianca everything I never had! Today she is a senior in college and I still have goals that I tell myself everyday that we work on together.

What kinds of things do you do for fun and to stay relaxed? How important do you think it is for young moms to take care of themselves as well as their children?

falcon young mom how she did itI would, and still do, take a daily nap once the kids have eaten and they are also relaxing. I exercise everyday and I have the kids exercise with me. For fun, my family and I go out to eat, we go to the beach a lot, we ride bikes together, we go for walks, and we go shopping together. I take my kids everywhere with me. Once a year during spring break my family has made a tradition of going to Disney World and enjoying the Florida sunshine.

What are your favorite things about being a mom?

I love making my kids feel special and taking care of them everyday. I love it when they appreciate all I do for them and they are so protective of me. I enjoy the hugs and kisses and we tell each other we love each other everyday. I adore seeing my babies happy and that truly makes me happy!

Where do you see yourself in 5 years? What goals and dreams are you currently pursuing?

I wish I could go back to school and finish my Bachelor’s degree. I will be approaching 20 years at my current job so I will be close to retirement. I would love to start a hobby and go to beauty school to learn to cut hair. I’m working on getting out of debt and being able to travel more with my husband once all the kids are older. Seeing the world is a dream of mine!

Wow, this woman is awe-inspiring! Thank you so much for sharing your story and inspiring other young moms to never give up and to strive to give their kids everything that they didn’t have growing up.

Did Ramonita’s story give you motivation to accomplish your goals? Tell her in the comments section below! And don’t forget if you have a story like hers, you could be the next featured “How She Did It” mama! Sign up HERE and don’t forget to SIGN UP for the Young Mom’s Club!

juggling life blog header

Juggling and Keeping Your Sanity: How to find balance in a crazy world

Do you ever feel like once in a while life as a young mom can get a little bit overwhelming?  Or maybe a LOT?  You are NOT alone!

So many of us young moms feel that way and it’s totally normal, I swear!

Lots of teen moms feel like it’s almost impossible to find a balance while being a brand new mom, keeping up with school, planning for college, saving up for a car, dealing with relationship stuff, and whatever else life throws your way! I know, it totally sounds like a lot. And it is. BUT there IS a way to manage it all, keep your sanity and be super happy!

Here’s a few ways to help you juggle (and keep yourself from going crazy) when you feel like your life is a three-ring circus!

young moms multitaskingManage your time – You might have heard the saying “You have the same 24 hours in a day as Beyonce” so why shouldn’t you get everything done that you want to do? I hate to support this because I’ve tried to argue with this, but it’s totally true. It just has to do with how you manage your time! Here’s 3 time management tools that I can’t live without:

  • MY CALENDAR – OMG where would I be without my calendar. Literally if it’s not in there, it doesn’t exist in my life. (I tell people that all the time) But seriously, the 2 seconds it’s going to take for you to pull a day planner out of your purse or even just schedule it into your phone on your calendar, will save you a HUGE headache later. I was famous for double-booking myself and my kids until I started scheduling every little thing, color coding it for my own stuff and my kids’ stuff, and then even setting tons of alarms/reminders for stuff. (Ok, the color coding might be a little OCD, but you get the idea…)
  • TO-DO LISTS  I LOVE making lists. If you were to go into my phone right now, you would see a list of the kids invited to my daughter’s birthday party, a list of stuff to get done this week, another list for groceries, and a list of apartments with notes since we’re getting ready to move. I take notes for everything because when you have 100 things on your mind, trying to remember specifics can get tricky.  Don’t be afraid to make lists on post-its, phone apps, mini-notebooks… whatever you like. This way you have something legit written down and there’s no second-guessing yourself about details. Plus, it’s an excuse to carry around a super cute little notebook if you want 🙂
  • DON’T PROCRASTINATE – I used to sit there and stare at hard projects at home or work, or having to study for a big exam, and put them last because I knew it was the one that was going to be the hardest and take the most effort. So instead, I would preoccupy myself with distractions and smaller, less important stuff that had to get done eventually. But then I always ended up stressing out more than ever and sometimes missing deadlines. Attack the tough stuff a little bit at a time OR just take a chunk of time and dedicate it to powering through whatever it is that you have been avoiding. I promise you your stress levels will go down big time!

piggy bank savingsMake a Budget and STICK WITH IT-This is a super-hard one to do, especially if you’re an impulse buyer like me. As I got older I realized my credit mistakes when I turned 18 totally caught up with me and made my life harder. So, I decided to actually make a budget and make sure I followed it. I have a color-coded excel spreadsheet (yep, there’s the OCD again) but there’s apps and websites like Mint or Learnvest you can use for free! Another cool thing you can do is sign up for SaveUp and get rewarded for paying your bills on time and putting money into a savings account! How cool is that? Just make sure that you put will love the feeling of knowing where the heck all your hard earned money goes and how to make sure you can afford to take care of you and your baby.
helping young mom friendDon’t be afraid to say YES – Ok, I know we all love being independent young moms who are out to prove that we can conquer the world. While this is entirely true, I want you to remember something: You’re still human! Sometimes we find ourselves feeling like we might need help but we’re too stubborn or determined to ask. (I may be speaking from personal experience…. maybe.) So here’s the thing, if someone is willing to help you out by offering to pick up your kids from school, babysitting for an hour so you can go to take your midterm, or even offering to pick up some stuff at the store for you while they’re out so you can avoid the mission of packing up the diaper bag and the kids and spending 20 minutes loading up the entire car just to go get a gallon of milk, just say these simple little words: “Yes, thank you so much.”
I know, I know. You are fully capable of taking care of those million things to do all by yourself. I am NOT doubting you at all! But, if you can realize for a second that those people who love you and see you after you got 2 hours of sleep with a restless baby last night are trying to help you simply because you might actually benefit from it, why not let them? It’s not a bad thing to need other people sometimes. We all do. So don’t be afraid to take help when it’s offered and, more importantly, don’t be afraid to ASK for help too!

There are so many more ways to help keep your sanity and I promise to share them with you later in another blog post. But, for now, make sure you use all these tools to help manage your life and to live every day how it should be: HAPPY!

What are some tips you have for other young moms out there who might need help juggling their busy lives? Tell us in the comments below so we can all be supportive to each other 🙂

whats your purpose

What’s your Purpose? (Hint: it’s not your kids)

“What’s your purpose?”

That seems like a pretty simple question, right?danielle ford young mom blog

It’s usually very quickly answered by moms when they immediately announce “My kids!! My kids are my life’s purpose!”

But that’s just not true. I know you love your kids more than anything in the world but your purpose extends far beyond your offspring.

In today’s video, we’ll talk about why your purpose is not just to be a mom and if you don’t know yet what your pose is, I’ll give you some ideas to start figuring it out.

I’ll also share my purpose with you which I’ve spent years fine tuning.

Now I want to know what your purpose is.. or what you think it might be?

Let me know in the comments so I can help you figure it out.

Also, here are some of my favorite books that can help you narrow down your purpose..

The Charge: Activating the 10 Human Drives That Make You Feel Alive by Brendan Burchard

Chi-To-Be by Stacey Hall

The Fire Starter Sessions: A Soulful + Practical Guide to Creating Success on Your Own Terms by Danielle LaPorte

 

Also, if you’ve gotten your purpose down and have any books or resources you recommend, leave them in the comments for me!

<3 Danielle

Slowing Down Your Life

Slowing Down Your Life

Written by Jenna Faccenda

Having a baby when you’re young is a huge game changer. It can sometimes feel as though your life is automatically being fast forwarded.

A whole new set of worries arise; buying your first home, getting married, and even landing a career. The things that you didn’t think you had to worry about until at least your late twenties and now it’s as if everything has just been thrown on your plate.

It’s as if taking care of a baby or even raising a child isn’t stressful enough.

But, here’s the good news. Yes you had a baby young and had to take on all the responsibilities of adulthood but that doesn’t mean you need to rush everything else.

Because, guess what? You’re still young!

blog - slow down your life

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am here to share with you on how to hit that pause button and slow down your life.

How to continue raising your baby the right way yet act your age (for the most part), in three simple steps.

The first step is to just breathe, remember that you are young and still have a lot of years to reach your late twenties and accomplish those set goals. Look at it this way, now you just get to start saving ahead of time. Not many adults thought about saving for things like a wedding or house during their early twenties. You have the leg up!

The second step is to create a goal plan. It’s important to take one thing at a time so you don’t overwhelm yourself. Take each major situation at a time. For example, I gave myself a four-year time span to save up for a house. I chose this time period because it was when I am graduating from college. By doing so this allowed me enough time to focus on schooling. That way when I graduate I will be able to buy my first home and then work on landing my career.

The third and final step is to give yourself a break.

It is ok to act your age every now and again. Allow yourself to be a little selfish and remind yourself of your age. Go mini-golfing, bowling, shopping, cliff-diving, hey even have an old-fashioned sleepover with some friends!

It is ok! Your kid will thank you in the end. A happy mom creates a happy environment for her child.

Being a young mom just means you got to enjoy your little one sooner. Everything else can take its good old time.

 

Tell us some of the other ways you slow down when you start to get ahead of yourself?

the golden rule is totally wrong

Yep, “The Golden Rule” is TOTALLY Wrong!

What if I told you that “The Golden Rule” which our parents and teachers have been teaching us about our entire lives, is totally 100% WRONG?

golden rule pic teen mom

It just doesn’t make sense..

I spent most of my life following the golden rule and now I feel like an idiot.

 

In today’s video, I’ll tell you exactly why the Golden Rule is wrong-o and walk you through some examples (that you’ll probably totally relate to) of how most people mess up by treating people how they want to be treated.

So what do you think? Are you like me and have been doing it wrong your whole life?

Can you think of an example where you might’ve messed up by using the Golden Rule? Or did you figure this out a long time ago?

Let me know about it in the comments.

<3 Danielle

things-i-wish-i-could-tell-my-15-year-old-self

10 Things I wish I could tell my 15 year old self

Now that I am older (27), I have learned so much. Of course, like everyone else, there are things I wish I could redo or change.

But we learn from our mistakes right?

It’s so true- but maybe I can help you with a few pointers, so that you can heed my advice 🙂

These are the 10 things that I would tell my 15 year old self, if I could go back in time..

1. Don’t try so hard to please others. In the end, you are on your own in your feelings so do what you feel is right and don’t get so bent out of shape when people tell you what to do, just say “Ok” and go about your business. Sometimes its good to listen to others, and other times you just need to trust your own instincts.

2. Stay calm and carry on. Just take what you learn and catalog it to return to it when needed. Don’t dwell on mistakes just learn from them. No one is perfect. Other people are so focused on themselves they probably won’t take as much notice as what you think. Don’t worry about what other people are doing, just go after what you want.

3. Follow your dreams. This one is so important because you are going to look back at your life and say “Why didn’t I?” I would much rather work harder at accomplishing goals instead of saying “I wish.” Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do it! If you want something bad enough, you will find a way and no one is going to be able to stop you.  Be passionate and you will succeed.

4. There will always be haters. There will always be someone a little better at things than you. Just push forward and maybe one day you will be ahead of them. Hey, it can happen if you believe in yourself! You can do anything you set your mind to. It sounds cliche’ but its so true! Don’t waste your time worrying, but bettering yourself.

5. Focus. If you want to learn something, teach yourself, don’t wait. Do it now! You want to do something? Then go for it! Take one skill at a time and perfect it, then choose something else to master. Trust me, you don’t want to go after it all at once.

6. Take your time in life. Don’t rush into extreme life decisions, especially intimacy because this is an event that could change your life forever. You have plenty of time to experience things and you aren’t missing out on anything if its stupid. Just because  “everyone” is doing it, doesn’t make it cool. Be young and enjoy it, but make wise choices that you know you won’t regret.

7. Say what you mean and mean what you say. This is a learned skill that will take some time because you learn new things everyday and your opinion changes so much, that its best to just not say anything unless you are completely educated on the subject matter.

8. You are an awesome individual. We are all different and you have unique qualities to offer the world. Don’t let what you see from other people make you think you are any less. You don’t know what other people are thinking or doing to get what you are seeing. You may desire what others are doing are have, but just be happy for them and remember to focus on daily bettering yourself. You have value that you can share with others, it takes time to find.

9. Be yourself. Your appearance, attitude and style are all your own, so own it! We are all a little weird and that’s OK, because there is no such thing as “normal”. Don’t be afraid to stand out. If you like something, then that makes it cool in your eyes. You don’t need validation from anyone else, because you already confirmed it in your own opinion. Trust me, there is someone else out there that also thinks so. Don’t try to be like everyone else. You don’t have to shop at the same places or like the same things. You have so much to offer the world, help them see it through your eyes.

10. Don’t assume you “Can’t”. Remove this word from your vocabulary. Take chances and step out of your comfort zone. You just might surprise yourself! You are ultimately in charge of your destiny. Make your life what you want it to be. There is only one you and you only have one life to live, so make it fantastically memorable.

note to self pic young momsSo those are mine.. what about you? Is there something you wish you could tell your 15 year old self? Let me know in the comments below…