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Why most of your fears are Silly (and how to get over them)

I was shaking and sweaty and I kept running to the toilet because I was certain I was going to throw up from nerves. This lasted the entire 48 hours before I gave my TEDxWomen speech “Re-inventing Teen Motherhood”.

It was the first speech I gave. Ever.

If you’re not familiar with TED, it’s pretty much the cream of the crop in the public speaking world. It’s on most speakers’ bucket lists.get over fear danielle ford young mom

I almost didn’t even audition for it. I had never talked in front of an audience before and I had no idea at all what I was doing. I felt the fear telling me that I was unprepared and inexperienced but you know what? I auditioned anyway. What was the worst that could happen? They say “No”? So what?

I found out a few weeks later that I had been selected and I started reading the Bios of the other women speaking. There was a best-selling author, a CEO, an architect, even a freaking Congress woman…. and me. The girl with no fancy title and not even a high school diploma.

Then the fear hit hard.

“Who am I to give a talk that’s meant to inspire others?” “What have I done that’s so special?” “What if I sound dumb?” “What if I forget what I’m supposed to say?” “I’m going to be compared to all these amazing, successful women and all I did was survive teen pregnancy.. barely.”

I was experiencing fear of criticism, fear of judgment, fear of failure and self doubt.

The fear was very real and painful for me but really.. what did I really have to be afraid of?

So after giving myself some time to freak out, I then rationalized my fear and realized that they were all the silly kind.

So I used the process that I describe in the video below and I rocked my speech 🙂

Now I want to know if you’ve ever let fear hold you back from something? Or do you have any tips to controlling your silly fears? Let me know in the comments below.

<3 Danielle

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How to get over Fear and go after your BIG dream

I have a dare for you.

I DARE YOU to tell me what your biggest, scariest, most seemingly-impossible dream is..

Does that already sound scary to you?

Sometimes admitting what your dream is is EVEN SCARIER than actually going after the dream itself.

Why is it so scary?

Because it opens up that part of your brain that wants you fail.

It’s easy to be ordinary.

People don’t criticize others for doing ordinary things. People criticize others for dreaming of BIG things.

They criticize because they’re scared, too.

It’s scary to take risks.

It’s scary to just jump.

But without the jump, you’ll never know the excitement of falling.

Without falling, you’ll never know how good it feels to finally land right where you want to be.

Once you’ve landed right into your BIG dream, you won’t care what anyone else thinks about where you are.

The biggest fear almost every human has is Fear of Criticism.

That’s why more people are afraid of public speaking than of dying.

The secret that everyone going after their big dreams has learned is that you don’t “get over fear”.

You just act in spite of it.

You know the fear is there and you do it anyway.

You push through it until one day you realize that the fear is gone.

And then you think about your next BIG dream.

And it seems scary.

And then you jump again.