We’re gonna shake things up a bit. Up until now 99.99999% of our posts have been directed to young moms.
But I started thinking, “What’s the point of giving dating and relationship advice to young moms, if the guys she’s heading out to date don’t know how to handle her?”
So girls, send this to your dudes. And dudes you’re welcome.
1. Understand you’re not her first priority
…or her 2nd or 3rd. While any girl you date should have high priorities (school, her career, etc), young moms have the added bonus of taking care of a whole other person, as well. It takes a strong man to understand this. Insecure dudes need not apply.
2. A little romance can go a long way
Odds are that baby-daddy was young, too, and most young guys’ version of romance is a dinner date, super-sized. Because what baby wants- baby gets.
She’s probably never experienced real romance, so the little things like flowers, holding the door for her, sincere compliments, and surprises can score serious bonus points.
3. Get in good with the kid- without being a creeper
Kids have heightened senses when it comes to sniffing out insincerity. When it comes to how to act around them, there’s a sweet spot between disinterested and overexcited. Just be cool. Make sure the little one knows you are interested in getting to know them but but don’t be too in-their-face. Just talk to them like you would any regular human. And age-appropriate presents do help. 🙂
4. Be prepared for a crazy schedule
When dating a young mom, all you can expect is the unexpected. Whether her babysitter cancels, kid gets sick, or she’s just exhausted from juggling her baby and her life, prepare to have plans canceled or changed quickly. Just try to go with the flow. Don’t try to make her feel guilty about it because that will just irritate her and remind her that you’re not her first priority.
5. Don’t overstep your boundaries
Unless baby-daddy is a total dead beat, you’ll probably have to deal with him at some point. You may or may not like him (or think he’s a good parent) but that doesn’t matter. You need to have a discussion with your girl about what is expected of you when parenting come up and when dealing with the ex. Having this conversation up front will help to avoid a lot of future problems.
6. The only games you should play are with her kids
Girls without children might respond positively to mind games, but as far as young moms go, aint nobody got time for that! Trying to manipulate her with your games will only make you look like a child and she already has one of those. It’s totally unattractive.
7. Don’t unload your problems on her
She already has a ton to deal with and your problems are the last thing she needs. You should aim to make her life easier. If you end up being more work for her, she’ll cut you out without a 2nd thought, even if she likes you. This doesn’t mean that she can’t be there for you emotionally or help you when you need it, but it should be mutually beneficial. Make sure you’re helpful and never a burden.
8. Be a freakishly good listener
When she wants to talk about her feelings to you, you won’t understand very much of it. But that’s OK. She doesn’t necessarily need your advice. She just has a lot going on and needs you to listen, and try to understand her feelings.
9. Be a good example
Even if the young mom you’re dating tells you she’s not looking for a father figure for her kid, she still needs you to be a good role model.
If you use bad language, talk about adult or inappropriate things around while her child is there, have bad manners or act immature, she won’t want you around her kid, which means she won’t want you around her.
10. Always build her up
She’s already receiving a ton of criticism and judgment from the whole world, so that’s the last thing she needs from you. Make sure she always knows that you believe in her and support her and she’ll always want you around.
Ladies, do you have anything else to add to this list?
Fellas, do you think you have what it takes?
Leave a comment to let me know..