Ever feel like being a young mom is tough? Keep your chin up!
This Supermom, Stacie Frazier, wants to share with teen moms her story about overcoming struggles with loneliness and challenges with low self-esteem after becoming a young mother. Read this amazing advice she has for all of us young moms!
Tell us about yourself and your family:
I became a single mom to the most beautiful baby boy at a very young age. While that was certainly the biggest challenge of my life, it was also the greatest reward imaginable. There were many lessons I needed to learn that only being a single, young mother could teach me. I screwed up a LOT. But I learned from every single one of my mistakes and they helped make my son and me into the people we are today. We were growing up together, after all. So, it was a lesson for both of us. But, through the many struggles, we finally found the light at the end of the tunnel.
Today, we are both doing incredibly well. He is all grown up and living in Texas with a daughter of his own and a son on the way – and doing a much better job than I did at raising them! I’m so proud of him! And, I finally found success in my own journey with my business, Haute Shots.
What were the biggest challenges you had to overcome as a young mom?
Loneliness was one of the biggest challenges I had to overcome, along with the mere struggle for survival, financially speaking. I remember feeling so deeply alone as a new mother, for many years after too. It was incredibly painful not having anyone to talk to or hang out with. After having my son, I had no friends anymore that I could relate to and it was hard to make new friends while just trying to keep food on the table and a roof over our heads. And the shame that went along with being a young Mom back then really did a number on my self esteem. Needless to say, I was quite a mess emotionally. LOL
What are some things you learned as a young mom, that you wish you would’ve known as soon as you got pregnant?
I wish I would have focused more on my own education in an effort to make a better life for my son and I. It only takes a few years to gain the knowledge and skills you need to get you through the rest of your life. I just wish I would have pursued it sooner, rather than later, so my financial struggle wouldn’t have been so difficult for so long.
But, maybe more importantly, I wish I would have been more confident. I wish I wouldn’t have let the dirty looks, the whispers, and the lack of support get to me. Having better self esteem would have carried me through so many of the situations that arose for me as a young mom, from avoiding bad relationships, to pursuing my dreams, to trusting that everything would eventually work out for the better.
Do you have any tips or advice for staying on track with your goals and dreams?
- Believe in yourself.
- Make your child the number one priority.
- Don’t worry about what other people think. Their opinion doesn’t matter.
- Own up to the responsibility you created.
- Get an education and be a life-long learner.
- There are no easy paths. Avoid taking the ones with the least resistance.
- Focus on your family, and not outside distractions like bad relationships.
- Find a good support system. Even better, look for a mentor who can help show you the way!
- Do not settle for less with anything….especially when it comes to dating!
- Never lose hope! Know that things will get easier!
- Nobody can save you except you. And once you save yourself you will find other people rallying by your side to help you.
What kinds of things do you do for fun and to stay relaxed? How important do you think it is for young moms to take care of themselves as well as their children?
I love to read, watch movies, learning more about my interests, lunch dates with friends, travel, etc. Basically, I enjoy doing anything that fills me with inspiration.
Taking care of myself was one of the biggest things I neglected while raising my son. Big mistake. But, this was because I lacked the self esteem necessary to even realize that I mattered. If I had it all to do over again that is one thing I would change for sure. I would have a weekly DIY spa night just for me! I think yoga would have helped me a lot back then too!
What are your favorite things about being a mom?
What isn’t great about being a Mom? When it’s all said and done, it is the single most important thing you can do as a human being. But some of my favorite things are:
Knowing that even though I wasn’t a perfect Mother, my son loves me anyway.
It forces you to be selfless and it gives your life meaning.
Watching my little baby grow into a man. It’s crazy!!!
I love that children teach you so many lessons about life and yourself, if you’re open to it.
I love that being a Mom lets you be silly and child-like every once in awhile too!
Being a Mom completely expands you heart. That’s an amazing thing!
Where do you see yourself in 5 years? What goals and dreams are you currently pursuing?
Still shooting up a storm! I adore my job as a photographer, so I don’t see that changing any. I have a feeling I will be teaching more then though too.
Stacie, thanks again for sharing your incredible insight. You are truly an inspiration!