Here’s a fact about me: I like, never get offended.
Even if people are mean to me, talk behind my back or say horrible things to my face. I just don’t take offense to it. Even if it’s true.
It wasn’t always like this, though.. I spent most of my childhood, teen years and early twenties being offended when people were mean to me, which was a lot.
But then one day I noticed that I hadn’t been offended in long time, like years. At first I thought that maybe I had just built up a tolerance. But after really thinking about it, it dawned on me that nothing had really changed except my thinking about 2 things in particular.
So if you ever get your feelings hurt about things people say to you or about you, if you take it personally that certain people are trying to hurt your feelings or if you are trying to figure out why people are such rude assholes sometimes, then you’ll want to watch today’s Figure it Out Friday video..
Never get Offended again! (if you remember these 2 things)- Video Transcript
Hey, Whats up, it’s Danielle Ford, the founder of Young Moms Club where young moms go to empower themselves and design their perfect lives.
I’ve encountered a lot, a lot , a lot, a lot.. of offensive women in my life and I also had a really offensive husband, so I am no stranger to being offended.
And it’s probably because of those people, it’s kind of one of those “glass is half full” kinds of things but it’s probably because of them that I don’t really get offended, it takes a lot for me to get offended by something.
I still encounter people who say rude things or who don’t like me (if you can believe that) , it still happens to me but I can’t even remember for the life of me the last time I actually got offend by somebody.
So in today’s video I’m going to tell you the realizations I’ve had that assured that I never get offended by anyone ever again, so keep watching.
There are 2 things that you need to have in place to make sure that you never ever get offended again.
Number one is: You need to accept yourself the way you are. Now you don’t necessarily have to like it, but you have to accept it.
And number two is: You have to fully accept the fact that you don’t have any control over any other people. The absolute only person you have any control over whatsoever is yourself.
And If you fully understand and accept those two things then you’re never going to be offended again and the reason for that is really simple.
When someone says something that is offensive, then their opinion is either one of 2 things. It’s either wrong or its right, right?
So if their opinion is wrong, like if somebody says something that is wrong, well then, who really cares? Like what if somebody says like “You’re a bad mom”.. If you know that you’re not a bad mom then why do you care what they think? Even if they give an example tof something you did that they think is and like “You picked your kids up late, or you’re too protective, or you’re not protective enough, or you’re this or you’re that”. Even if they’re right about that, maybe, but you know that you’re not a bad mom, then who cares? Why should you care about that? They’re completely wrong. Fuck em.
And that applies to everything, your appearance, your skills, your smarts, whatever. If someones giving you their opinion, it’s negative and they’re wrong, there’s no reason to take offense to it.
Now there is a second element to that can make you offended if you choose to, and its when someone says something offensive and you know you’re wrong like we just talked about- or you know they’re wrong- like we just talked about but then you take offenses to the fact that they said it. You’re like “well why would you say that! You know how hard I try to work be a good mom. I’m so offended that you said that to me” well that’s where the second part comes in
Because If you fully realize that you don’t have control over other people, you do not need to understand them, you do not need to agree with them whatsoever, then there’s no reason to be offended.
So if like your best friend out of nowhere is like “You’re a shitty mom” instead of being like “oh my god, she thinks I’m a shitty mom” you would be like “hmm well that’s not true”, you know? and then, instead of being like “why would she say that? why is she trying to hurt me?” you know you can be like “well I don’t have control over her and I wonder why she’s doing that did something happen? why is she being a bitch? is she posing, you know, whats going on?” and so you know it’s not personal, you don’t take offense to it. And then you can then choose to go deeper into it, or not, it’s your choice, but there’s no reason to get offended by it because it’s not true and you cant control her.
Now what if someone says something to offend you and they’re right? Well that is where fully accepting yourself comes in. And I’m not saying that it’s easy, it’s something that everybody struggles with, but you have to do it, you have to really work on fully accepting yourself.
You have to fully accept that you are in the right spot, the way you look, where you are, financially, whatever else is going on, your family, your career, all that stuff, you are right now, where you need to be.
And that doesn’t mean that you need to be 100% happy with it and you can be wanting to change your appearance somehow or wanting to work on your education or grow in your career or change where you live, or whatever, but you have to fully accept and love the way that you are right now, that’s so important, just love yourself, imperfections and all.
So then if someone offends you and they’re right, then you’re just like “Ok tell me something I don’t know.”
And then we’re back to that other topic of like “Why would they say that, to me, you know, why would they want to hurt me and offend me in that way.” and then we go back to the fact that we can’t control other people, we have no control over other people, we have no understanding of why they do the things they do, we don’t need to understand it, and we don’t need to validate like why they’re such an asshole.
So lets say that maybe you’ve had a baby and maybe you have some weight to lose. And you’re not happy with it and you look at your body and you’re like “Oh man I really wanna lose some weight, maybe I should diet, exercise, yada yada”. But in the mean time, you’re like, “This is my body, I had a child, this is what happens, I love myself,” and just be happy with the way you are.
So now let’s say that you get in a fight with your boyfriend and he knows all your insecurities, he knows what’s going to hurt you, and he knows that you wanna lose some weight, and that you might not be 100% comfortable with your appearance, and so you know, you get in a fight and he’s like “Well you’re fat” cause he’s really trying to hurt you.
But that’s not gonna hurt you or upset you!or offend Because you love yourself the way you are, and even if he is right, you know it doesn’t matter because you’re happy with how you are and you’re right in the exact spot that you need to be. And of course again that crosses over into the like, “Why would he say that” aspect and you have no reason to understand everything he does because that would make you crazy, it’s not your place to know why he’s being a total dick. The reasons behind why he’s being a total dick crosses into relationship advice and that’s just like a whole other video or series of videos.
But that’s all for today. So my point is really just love yourself, be happy with where you are, you don’t have to necessarily love it, you can want to change, there’s a million things that I want to change, you know, like I’m always working on stuff, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not happy with where I am right now.
And if you really get all spiritual and everything and you really believe that everything happens for a reason, then you can’t not believe that you are in the right spot, right now, and just remember not to let anyone offend you, not to let them hurt your feelings, because whether they’re right, wrong or indifferent, you are just you and no one else is.
And as far as like, caring what other people think, my dad said something one time about my ex husband. And I couldn’t understand why he was doing some of the things he was doing and saying and everything and he’s crazy but my dad said “You cannot rationalize with an irrational person”. You can’t. If you are a sane person, then you can’t understand why somebody else is saying thing that don’t make sense or they wanna hurt you or whatever. Because if you could understand them, then you’re just as damn crazy as they are. So be lucky that you can’t.
It’s very hard but work on loving yourself in the meantime and being very happy with where you are right now.
Ok that’s all for today, if you liked this video then please click like, subscribe to the YouTube Channel, share with any friends that need to hear this, and if you’re not part of the club yet, then head over to YoungMomsClub.com, enter your name and email and I will connect with you one on one, I’m gonna send you a free e book, its an easy read with a little work book at the end, called “The 7 Steps to Being a Kick Ass Young Mom” and I will send you videos like this weekly and any other important updates that you need to see. Ok so, thank you so much for watching, and I will see you next week.
Did you miss last week’s video?? Watch it here—-> My list of Healthy Foods: 5 things I CANNOT live without