10 Myths about being a Young Mom

Here’s the video of the Live hangout where we talk about 10 myths about being a young mom.

 

We’d love to know if there’s anything you would add to this conversation? Let us know in the comments and be sure to join the clubso that you don’t miss out on any future events like this!

Thanks again so much Roxanne Ford for educating and entertaining us 🙂 Be sure to check out Babymamas.com.au!

Stayin' Alive Keeping Your Relationship Alive After Kids

Stayin’ Alive – Keeping Your Relationship Alive After Kids

Having kids can be the blessing of a lifetime for couples. We find out we’re pregnant and the thrill is the best feeling ever!

Then come the sleepless nights and midnight feedings…followed by the shared diaper duty and cleaning up after a little rugrat that just learned to walk. All of these things are still so worth every minute, but where does the time go for you and your boyfriend/husband?exhausted parents with toys

What used to be date night, now consists of falling asleep before 9 pm on a Friday. Finding a sitter on a weekend without spending a fortune? Better hope grandma lives nearby!

So… how do you keep your identity as the girlfriend/wife when the role of “mommy” has taken over? Don’t freak out because it’s totally possible to do both!

First things first, make sure you set aside 15 minutes for YOU to do things that make you feel good about yourself.

Even if it’s an at-home pedicure while baby is napping or splurging on a new shade of lipstick while you’re out buying baby wipes at the drugstore. Those tiny little things will make such a difference and you should do it! Because damn it, you’re worth it!

Ok, now what about him? Make sure you take the time through all the demands of work, kids, and errands to just stop your brain (I know this part is near impossible for moms) and remember why you fell in love with him in the first place.

It sounds silly, but when they say “you hurt the ones you love” it’s totally true. Your man is the one who stands on the front lines when you’re exhausted or frustrated and even if it’s not his fault, you betcha sometimes we’re gonna make it seem like it is! Just remember, you guys are on the same team.fun parents

Make time, not excuses.  Yes, I mean grown-up time, not family time.

While family time is oh-so important and we LOVE spending every waking minute with our babies, we NEED adult time too. I know, you’re reading this and already making a list of reasons you can’t find the time, but you know what? Throw that list out the window! Focus on finding a family member or friend that can babysit for even just 30 minutes while you go on a walk together if you can’t get away. Plan and schedule a date night for dinner, coffee, going out for drinks. If you’re a SAHM with kids in school, meet the hubby at work for lunch. If you’re housebound, find ways to squeeze in one-on-one time when the kids are sleeping if you have to!

When you’re young parents you tend to get caught up in being “parents” and forgetting the “young” part. Don’t let yourselves become strangers to each other and more importantly, don’t lose yourselves in being JUST mommy and daddy.

You can be mommy, girlfriend/wifey, lover, and a human being all at the same time, I know this because don’t forget, you’re a kick-ass young mom!

 
What do YOU and your significant other do to help make sure you keep your relationship healthy after having kids? Share with us in the comments section below!

Life as a teen mother: a first hand account of a young mom

When I decided to write this, I was very emotional. I thought about how terrible it was for me to get pregnant at 15.

Then I thought, is that really the worst thing that could have happened? It truly could’ve been a lot worse. I could’ve been raped. I could’ve gotten pregnant by a loser who didn’t want to take care of me. I could’ve had parents that didn’t care at all what happened to me or disowned me for my careless choice.

I have made it through this with a beautiful family and some wisdom to share. I want you to know that you will make it through this as well.

My life has forever been changed by the precious life that was brought by my mistake. There is a silver lining to every heartache. There is a new beginning to every end.

We all have those feelings of happiness, pride and even embarrassment as a young mother. My mother was also a teen mom and she had some things to say.

“I got pregnant at 16, but I got married first. Why on earth did I do this? I thought that by leaving my parents I would have more freedom. I am telling you now, so you know, I was wrong. Of course it lead to pregnancy which made it hard for me to finish school. While my friends were at prom and doing teenager things, I was stuck at home with a baby. I was young and had no idea what i was doing. I felt so strange and had an in-between feeling of not fitting in with my peers or even people older than me.

I watched my sister in-laws go out all dressed up and I was very jealous because I never got to date. I had a lot of embarrassing moments like taking my kids to town and having my little red head throw the most outrageous fits, so bad that I totally walked away from her. Of course I had super mom powers that allowed me to still track her and then of course when she knew she had lost, she came to find me.

I would have to do things like change diapers now that I was a mom. I was with a group of family and friends and doing my duty, I didn’t think about if it was proper to change my daughter in front of everyone. When you are immature, you care about what others think so much that you get embarrassed easily. Next time, I asked what was preferred in everyone’s presence.

I was always peer pressured into doing “the right thing” instead of what I thought was best. Inner conflict of my own beliefs and how everyone told me I should raise my kids caused more trouble than good. I should’ve listened to my own instincts. But, every mistake I made, I learned important lessons. I grew up with my kids.

Not all times were embarrassing or heart-wrenching pain of missing out, though. I had good times with my girls and even witnessed some head shaking hilarious things that my kids did.

lacricia sanders

Me (Lacricia) and my Mom

Like when my eldest and her cousin were hanging out at their aunt’s house. She had a fish tank and I came to check on them and they were crying and spitting something out. “What’s wrong, what happened?” I asked. “We ate the fish and they tasted awful!” they exclaimed. Of course this is just one story of silliness.

There have been so many proud moments that I believe truly make up for the loss of my teen years. I am overwhelmed with happiness to see every accomplishment that my daughters achieve. I went to as many school events as I could. I loved to see their happy family moments and know that I helped create that. My grandkids are by far, the most important things in this world to me. I have the honor of watching them grow. My daughters continue to do things in their lives that astound me. I am very fortunate to have spent my years as their mother.”

In closing, i just want to reach out to other teen mothers and say….

Don’t wait. Your child needs you, but you also need you. So..
Go after your dreams. Yes, you can accomplish it, even with a child.
Finish school. Don’t give up and say that this is as good as it gets, educate yourself.
Don’t let ANYONE, even the man you love, hold you back or influence your decisions.
Be smart and wait to have more kids until you have yourself established.
Be yourself and don’t let people brainwash you to think you have to parent like them.

What are some of the things you struggled with being a young mom?

How did you overcome them?

Comment and share this article to help other moms like you.

Are you Turned On yet?

Last night in my women’s group, our theme was “Unleashing your Brilliance”. Rosa, one of the brilliant women who co-created the night began by reading a quote from TurnedOnWoman.com. It really resonated with me because I’ve felt the pressure to be the ‘exceptionally mediocre woman’ and it’s been hell to continue to act everyday in spite of it.

I’m not perfect. But I know I am “Turned on”. Here’s the quote..

“Would it be okay if your gravestone read: “She was an exceptionally mediocre woman”?

If your eulogy went something like: “She followed every rule with precision. She rarely made a mistake and was a great champion of the status quo. She never ruffled any feathers, took any great risks, suffered any great loss. She always operated within the bounds of appropriateness. She had the love and acceptance of her community, family, and friends, though no one knew her. Her life was smooth sailing because she never rocked the boat. She contained her passion, her dreams, and her danger enough that they could call her a good woman”?

For some, that would be enough. But not for you.

Your epitaph will begin: “She redefined what it meant to be a good woman.”

It will say: “She scaled mountains, in hiking boots and in heels. She started in her own backyard and then went all the way around the world. She accepted challenges with curiosity and determination. She emerged victorious regardless of outcome, knowing both the pleasure of success and the grace of failure. She tasted long hot days and cool still nights, at home wherever she found herself. She wasn’t always popular, but she was always true. She wasn’t always comfortable, but no one can say she didn’t enjoy her life. She explored her edges, increased her capacity, and lived as big as she could dream. Moved equally by bliss and pain, she played her heart out one moment at a time. She was dialed in. She was courageous. She was turned on.”

If this sounds more like you, what are you waiting for?”

So.. what are you waiting for?

I wanna know.. Are you turned on yet? Are you turned on a little? Let me know in the comments below…

<3 Danielle

10 Things I wish I could tell my 15 year old self

Now that I am older (27), I have learned so much. Of course, like everyone else, there are things I wish I could redo or change.

But we learn from our mistakes right?

It’s so true- but maybe I can help you with a few pointers, so that you can heed my advice 🙂

These are the 10 things that I would tell my 15 year old self, if I could go back in time..

1. Don’t try so hard to please others. In the end, you are on your own in your feelings so do what you feel is right and don’t get so bent out of shape when people tell you what to do, just say “Ok” and go about your business. Sometimes its good to listen to others, and other times you just need to trust your own instincts.

2. Stay calm and carry on. Just take what you learn and catalog it to return to it when needed. Don’t dwell on mistakes just learn from them. No one is perfect. Other people are so focused on themselves they probably won’t take as much notice as what you think. Don’t worry about what other people are doing, just go after what you want.

3. Follow your dreams. This one is so important because you are going to look back at your life and say “Why didn’t I?” I would much rather work harder at accomplishing goals instead of saying “I wish.” Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do it! If you want something bad enough, you will find a way and no one is going to be able to stop you.  Be passionate and you will succeed.

4. There will always be haters. There will always be someone a little better at things than you. Just push forward and maybe one day you will be ahead of them. Hey, it can happen if you believe in yourself! You can do anything you set your mind to. It sounds cliche’ but its so true! Don’t waste your time worrying, but bettering yourself.

5. Focus. If you want to learn something, teach yourself, don’t wait. Do it now! You want to do something? Then go for it! Take one skill at a time and perfect it, then choose something else to master. Trust me, you don’t want to go after it all at once.

6. Take your time in life. Don’t rush into extreme life decisions, especially intimacy because this is an event that could change your life forever. You have plenty of time to experience things and you aren’t missing out on anything if its stupid. Just because  “everyone” is doing it, doesn’t make it cool. Be young and enjoy it, but make wise choices that you know you won’t regret.

7. Say what you mean and mean what you say. This is a learned skill that will take some time because you learn new things everyday and your opinion changes so much, that its best to just not say anything unless you are completely educated on the subject matter.

8. You are an awesome individual. We are all different and you have unique qualities to offer the world. Don’t let what you see from other people make you think you are any less. You don’t know what other people are thinking or doing to get what you are seeing. You may desire what others are doing are have, but just be happy for them and remember to focus on daily bettering yourself. You have value that you can share with others, it takes time to find.

9. Be yourself. Your appearance, attitude and style are all your own, so own it! We are all a little weird and that’s OK, because there is no such thing as “normal”. Don’t be afraid to stand out. If you like something, then that makes it cool in your eyes. You don’t need validation from anyone else, because you already confirmed it in your own opinion. Trust me, there is someone else out there that also thinks so. Don’t try to be like everyone else. You don’t have to shop at the same places or like the same things. You have so much to offer the world, help them see it through your eyes.

10. Don’t assume you “Can’t”. Remove this word from your vocabulary. Take chances and step out of your comfort zone. You just might surprise yourself! You are ultimately in charge of your destiny. Make your life what you want it to be. There is only one you and you only have one life to live, so make it fantastically memorable.

note to self pic young momsSo those are mine.. what about you? Is there something you wish you could tell your 15 year old self? Let me know in the comments below…