Are you guilty of saying things to young moms that they probably are sick of hearing? Did you even know you were being rude when you said it? Probably not, so don’t feel bad!
Better yet, are you a young and/or single mom that wishes people knew when to keep their comments to themselves? Here’s a list of the 10 things that you can bet young moms are super sick of hearing for the millionth time…
10 Things Young Moms are Sick of Hearing
#1. OMG, I don’t know how you do it! – Like there’s another option? There are a gazillion moms out there that had kids young or are raising kids alone. I do it just like everyone else does every day of their life; I kick my own butt into gear everyday, take help when it’s offered, and make sure I always put myself and my kids first. Sure there are days I want to pull my hair out or run away from home but everyone has those days, kids or not… don’t they? LOL
#2. You look too young to have kids – First of all, thank you. I am approaching 30 and about to have a heart attack because even though reality has made me grow up quickly, I’m still terrified of hitting actual-age adulthood, even though I’ve heard 30 is the new 20! LOL. So yeah, I probably am “too young” by society’s standards to have kids, especially one in middle school and another going into first grade. And this statement could have totally offended me, but instead I’m going to act like I do when I get carded when I buy wine (giggle, smile and walk away feeling damn good about myself).
#3. So you’re married then? – Now wait a minute. Do you see a ring on this finger? (Well, I wear one now but I didn’t used to) Just because we have kids doesn’t mean we have to be married to the father. I am 100% happy for every young mama out there who found true love with her high school sweetheart and I think it’s super amazing when couples can work out a relationship with the other parent and actually be blissfully happy. But please, if you see a young mom with her kids and there’s not a guy with her, don’t assume automatically she married the guy because there might be a good reason he’s not around. If you do ask, be polite about it and don’t ever give that disapproving look followed by “Oh, I see. Well that’s OK…” after we tell you we’re single mommies. We already know it’s more than OK. 🙂
#4. So much for graduation/college – Wait, whaaaa? Since when did having a kid mean your life was over? Having a child is no reason school has to be removed from your life plan! Sure it’s more difficult to raise a kid and still focus on school, but there is no way being a mom means you have to sacrifice your dreams and education to create an awesome life for you and your child. With continuing education programs, online classes and local community colleges there are lots of ways to finish school. (BTW, if you want to learn more about getting yourself through college as a teen mom, make sure to check this blog out: http://bit.ly/1qTkF8R)
#5. Did you consider other options? – Yes, people actually say this. Personally, I think it’s the most disturbing question you could ask a pregnant teen or a teen mother. Honestly, everyone has their own viewpoints and moral standpoints on teen pregnancy and how it should be handled. Some people feel that adoption could be beneficial to everyone involved, some people think marriage is the answer, and others think that unplanned pregnancies shouldn’t be carried out. But here’s what should be said about the subject: NOTHING. If this young mom is having a baby or has children, she has already made a choice. It may not have been easy and she’s probably heard a million different opinions already and had to become overwhelmed with rearranging her life plans and adapting to new situations. So do the world a favor, have some class and don’t ask this question. Ever.
#6. Unwanted parenting advice – This category is so broad, it would be impossible to squeeze all the advice we’re sick of getting on this list. If we ask for your opinion on how to do something or ask for parenting advice, of course it’s so appreciated when you give it to us! BUT (this is a big but) please do NOT volunteer your overbearing instructions on how to raise our children. If kids were supposed to be raised one specific way, the doctor would have handed out instruction manuals on delivery day. Young moms are just as capable of being incredible parents as anyone else in the world. Remember, if we need help we are not afraid to ask, but otherwise assume that we’ve got this!
#7. Is this your little sister/niece/cousin? or Are you the babysitter? – Well, I guess my kid must look nothing like me. As flattering as you think it might be that we look young enough to be a paid babysitter (like #2 was), most young moms are getting tired of being mistaken for an alternate caregiver or family member. We did a lot of work to bring this child into the world and we’re still putting in work raising them, so hell yeah, you better believe we wanna take credit for that! I do have to admit that I personally enjoy this question every so often. It seriously embarrasses the pants off my tween daughter and one of my main jobs as a mother is to embarrass her, so once in a while is alright I guess. LOL.
#8. Wow, it must be hard to meet someone – Gee, thanks. I forgot about the big red letter I wear out in public when I’m looking for a date. Meeting the “right” guy is hard, even without kids. Yeah, it’s true that once you have a kid it does get more difficult to find free time to pursue a relationship. However, don’t ever assume a young mom is “damaged goods” just because she had a child at a young age! And young moms, you better never let anyone make you feel like you don’t deserve Mr. Right anymore because you had a child. If anything, you should be even more excited about dating. A man that is willing to look at a woman’s child and accept or love that child no differently than they would their own… that’s a keeper. So technically, you can thank your kid for helping you immediately reject guys who run for the hills because you’re a parent. You wouldn’t have wanted to waste those 4 months before finding out he’s not the right one anyways.
#9. Did you forget about your friends? – We’ve probably all had a lot of these conversations: “Yeah, I know… I missed Taco Tuesday again.” “No, I can’t make it to your sister’s birthday party.” “So what if it’s Friday? I can’t go out drinking because hangovers and children don’t mix.” So many people get caught up in missing the happiness they get out of your friendship with them that they forget that your life changes when you’re young and have kids. We know as moms, we have a tendency to have to rearrange our priorities and may not be at the center of the social circle anymore like we used to. Forgive us and move on and just know that even though you may feel like we’re blowing you off we really do want to hang out and we’re not forgetting about you. We swear! True friendships adapt through life changes. Plus, don’t forget, one day when you have kids and we want to go out, my kid will be old enough to babysit! 😉
#10. You can handle it, you’re young – This may be true and most young moms have certain advantages when it comes to parenting. For the most part, we are more agile, have more energy, can survive on less sleep, and we have less of a generation gap between us and our kids which can make it easier to juggle life as a parent. Just remember, we’re still human and we are entitled to get tired. I don’t care how young you are, when you’re waking up every couple hours with a baby while going to school and working and still trying to mange the rest of your entire life, you end up insanely exhausted! So please if you ever see me come home with a half-dead look on my face, just remember one thing: I may be young, but right now I feel like I’m 80 so keep that thought to yourself today. Thanks!