What do Single Fathers Look for in a Girl-

What do Single Fathers Look For in a Girl?

We all know dating and finding the right guy can be a challenge when you’re a single mom. But what about when you’re a single dad?

We don’t spend a lot of time focusing on single dads here at Young Mom’s Club, but we know it can be difficult to find the right kind of woman that you want to date and to feel comfortable introducing to your kids. We wanted to know what qualities guys are looking for in a partner when they’re on the dating scene and this is what they had to say:

 

nick single dad

Nick Brannigan believes his perfect woman should have these qualities:

 If they have children they kids are as polite, respectful and well behaved as mine.
Respects her body. Workouts out on a regular basis and has good dietary habits.
Genuinely sweet person.
Likes kids (duh!)
Consciouspreneur mindset


Evan Louie looks for these things in a partner:

Has strong family values (if she is single) and bonds well with children.
Kind, compassionate, caring, and nurturing.
Intelligent, responsible, and ambitious (my own personal traits I look for).
Knows how to have fun and a sense of humor. It takes a playful sense to be around children.
Is open minded and sees a broader sense of the world. She can pass that ideology to my child.

evan single dad


brian single dad

Brian Burge believes that his ideal woman should be:

Down to earth
Open minded
Kind-hearted
Adventurous
Trustworthy



Rory Byrne believes that the most important thing in a partner is:

Someone with similar goals and lifestyle.
A person that appreciates my child.
Someone who isn’t afraid to have the family expansion talk (this should take place sooner than later).
I have found the love part is temporarily the most important. Its after that you find if you can be good business partners.
To find someone that loves me for me.

rory byrne single dad


adam boaz single dad

Adam Boaz has become more guarded after he separated from his son’s mother so he looks for:

Someone who will love my son because he comes first.
Has to have a strong, loving character.
Must have a lot of patience.
A “motherly” instinct or quality (but doesn’t necessarily have to already be a mother).
No more girls who are still in their “partying” phase!

 

So, ladies, do you think that you have what it takes to date a single dad? Thanks so much to the guys who shared with us and gave us an inside look at what single fathers are really looking for! If you’re a single guy with kids who is reading this and you have something to add that might be on your list, comment below and let us know. We would love to hear what other dads have to say on the subject! 🙂

dating young moms pic

10 Tips for Dating Young Moms

We’re gonna shake things up a bit. Up until now 99.99999% of our posts have been directed to young moms.

But I started thinking, “What’s the point of giving dating and relationship advice to young moms, if the guys she’s heading out to date don’t know how to handle her?”

So girls, send this to your dudes. And dudes you’re welcome.

1. Understand you’re not her first priority

…or her 2nd or 3rd. While any girl you date should have high priorities (school, her career, etc), young moms have the added bonus of taking care of a whole other person, as well. It takes a strong man to understand this. Insecure dudes need not apply.

2. A little romance can go a long way

Odds are that baby-daddy was young, too, and most young guys’ version of romance is a dinner date, super-sized. Because what baby wants- baby gets.

She’s probably never experienced real romance, so the little things like flowers, holding the door for her, sincere compliments, and surprises can score serious bonus points.

couple romantic flowers

3. Get in good with the kid- without being a creeper

Kids have heightened senses when it comes to sniffing out insincerity. When it comes to how to act around them, there’s a sweet spot between disinterested and overexcited. Just be cool. Make sure the little one knows you are interested in getting to know them but but don’t be too in-their-face. Just talk to them like you would any regular human. And age-appropriate presents do help. 🙂

4. Be prepared for a crazy schedule

When dating a young mom, all you can expect is the unexpected. Whether her babysitter cancels, kid gets sick, or she’s just exhausted from juggling her baby and her life, prepare to have plans canceled or changed quickly. Just try to go with the flow. Don’t try to make her feel guilty about it because that will just irritate her and remind her that you’re not her first priority.

5. Don’t overstep your boundaries

Unless baby-daddy is a total dead beat, you’ll probably have to deal with him at some point. You may or may not like him (or think he’s a good parent) but that doesn’t matter. You need to have a discussion with your girl about what is expected of you when parenting come up and when dealing with the ex. Having this conversation up front will help to avoid a lot of future problems.

6. The only games you should play are with her kids

Girls without children might respond positively to mind games, but as far as young moms go, aint nobody got time for that! Trying to manipulate her with your games will only make you look like a child and she already has one of those. It’s totally unattractive.

7. Don’t unload your problems on her

She already has a ton to deal with and your problems are the last thing she needs. You should aim to make her life easier. If you end up being more work for her, she’ll cut you out without a 2nd thought, even if she likes you. This doesn’t mean that she can’t be there for you emotionally or help you when you need it, but it should be mutually beneficial. Make sure you’re helpful and never a burden.

8. Be a freakishly good listener

When she wants to talk about her feelings to you, you won’t understand very much of it. But that’s OK. She doesn’t necessarily need your advice. She just has a lot going on and needs you to listen, and try to understand her feelings.

happy couple pic

9. Be a good example

Even if the young mom you’re dating tells you she’s not looking for a father figure for her kid, she still needs you to be a good role model.

If you use bad language, talk about adult or inappropriate things around while her child is there, have bad manners or act immature, she won’t want you around her kid, which means she won’t want you around her.

10. Always build her up

She’s already receiving a ton of criticism and judgment from the whole world, so that’s the last thing she needs from you. Make sure she always knows that you believe in her and support her and she’ll always want you around.

 

Ladies, do you have anything else to add to this list?

Fellas, do you think you have what it takes?

Leave a comment to let me know..

Stayin' Alive Keeping Your Relationship Alive After Kids

Stayin’ Alive – Keeping Your Relationship Alive After Kids

Having kids can be the blessing of a lifetime for couples. We find out we’re pregnant and the thrill is the best feeling ever!

Then come the sleepless nights and midnight feedings…followed by the shared diaper duty and cleaning up after a little rugrat that just learned to walk. All of these things are still so worth every minute, but where does the time go for you and your boyfriend/husband?exhausted parents with toys

What used to be date night, now consists of falling asleep before 9 pm on a Friday. Finding a sitter on a weekend without spending a fortune? Better hope grandma lives nearby!

So… how do you keep your identity as the girlfriend/wife when the role of “mommy” has taken over? Don’t freak out because it’s totally possible to do both!

First things first, make sure you set aside 15 minutes for YOU to do things that make you feel good about yourself.

Even if it’s an at-home pedicure while baby is napping or splurging on a new shade of lipstick while you’re out buying baby wipes at the drugstore. Those tiny little things will make such a difference and you should do it! Because damn it, you’re worth it!

Ok, now what about him? Make sure you take the time through all the demands of work, kids, and errands to just stop your brain (I know this part is near impossible for moms) and remember why you fell in love with him in the first place.

It sounds silly, but when they say “you hurt the ones you love” it’s totally true. Your man is the one who stands on the front lines when you’re exhausted or frustrated and even if it’s not his fault, you betcha sometimes we’re gonna make it seem like it is! Just remember, you guys are on the same team.fun parents

Make time, not excuses.  Yes, I mean grown-up time, not family time.

While family time is oh-so important and we LOVE spending every waking minute with our babies, we NEED adult time too. I know, you’re reading this and already making a list of reasons you can’t find the time, but you know what? Throw that list out the window! Focus on finding a family member or friend that can babysit for even just 30 minutes while you go on a walk together if you can’t get away. Plan and schedule a date night for dinner, coffee, going out for drinks. If you’re a SAHM with kids in school, meet the hubby at work for lunch. If you’re housebound, find ways to squeeze in one-on-one time when the kids are sleeping if you have to!

When you’re young parents you tend to get caught up in being “parents” and forgetting the “young” part. Don’t let yourselves become strangers to each other and more importantly, don’t lose yourselves in being JUST mommy and daddy.

You can be mommy, girlfriend/wifey, lover, and a human being all at the same time, I know this because don’t forget, you’re a kick-ass young mom!

 
What do YOU and your significant other do to help make sure you keep your relationship healthy after having kids? Share with us in the comments section below!

single-mom-dating

10 Ways for Single Moms to have a Fun and Healthy dating life

I was in a relationship and married for 7 years. Though I got two beautiful sons out of it, the relationship was not healthy or happy for me.
From the time I was 19 till I was 26 I hadn’t dated… So this whole new dating life is like a roller coaster that freaks the hell out of me.

I recently had my first experience of dating. To say the least, we are obviously not together any longer. But I did learn a lot…

I learned that I always wear my heart on my sleeve and go to the moon and back for people I love. I’ve learned to slow the F— down and not to just jump in head first. I just felt that I wasn’t being true to myself if I wasn’t completely emerged into the person. Damn.
I was so confused. For me the hardest part is letting go. Mainly because I learned to cope in a bad relationship and just deal with all the negative stuff and work through it. It’s hard because its just like losing a friend.
I value all the people in my life and all my experiences. But I know that there just comes a point that if the other person isn’t willing to go the extra mile then I just have to move on.
I know I gave my all, which in my part is more painful…I was genuine and real. There are just so many rules and bullshit when it comes to dating.
I imagine that with the right person it won’t be this way. But the book “He’s just not that into you” was an absolute must read! It might sound silly but it gave me a whole new point of view. I’m just a fool to fall in love, That’s my curse: I love romance and love and relationships.

The best quote that can sum up my experience is..

“Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.” (Click to tweet, if you love this quote, too)

I know this might seem a little harsh.. I use this only because there are so many men out there who will sweet talk your panties right off! Who will use you for whatever they want!
Just because you talk to someone for 6 months does NOT mean you know them. You just know what they want you to know.

You have to really spend time with a person before you start to see who they really are. That is why I stress on telling you to wait to introduce your kids to anyone too early. Building trust takes time and patience. And any man who is willing to rise up and help build that foundation is worth knowing. I’d say 85% of the men you are going to meet are all just “talkers”.

dating tips for single moms“Of course I want to be with you, I love you, I’m a good man,” Psssh! I’ve heard it ALL! Be choosey! Keep your standards high.

Don’t be fooled by the wolf bearing sheep’s clothing! Meaning, just because this guy has SOME of the qualities your looking for, DOES NOT mean he’s the right guy.
If even for a second you feel unsure, then its not right. “When in doubt, don’t”. This is your opportunity to really discover who you are and what you really want from life and a partner. Get down to the nitty-gritty. Make a list, keep a journal.

Just have fun and relax. The right guy will pop up when you are not even looking.

As a single mommy I want for us all to fall in love… with the right person, NOT just Mr. right now.

We can still have fun along the journey to the right guy, but just not with assholes!

You can always email me if you are feeling confused or are questioning yourself about the person you are dating. Trust me. I will tell you he’s an asshole. Just be prepared for the answer!

Here are 10 ways to ensure a Fun- and Healthy- dating life

1. Know your worth. I know what I deserve and how I should be treated.

2. NEVER settle. Not even a little bit. Stay true to what you really want in a partner. BE STRONG.

3. If it feels wrong, then IT IS! Don’t waste time on anyone that feels fake.

4. It’s OKAY to get hurt. As long as you know in your heart you were real then you win the good karma!

5. Go slow…WAIT to introduce your kids to someone for at least 6 months or MORE!

6. Make sure he is a GENTLEMAN! If he’s not paying for dinner or drinks, how could he ever support you or your kids?

7. Stay focused on your life and your kids! The right person will blend easy and you will stay on track!

8. “You can never make the same mistake twice because the second time you make it, it’s not a mistake. It’s a choice.” This quote means to me that if the guy is screwing up and making bad decisions, then you need to let him go. Don’t give him another chance to hurt you. You are worth more than that.

9. Birth control…

10. ENJOY yourself! If you’re dating someone who makes you feel insecure with yourself or him, then screw him! There are so many other guys who will make you feel happy and secure!

About the Author: Michelle King is a single mommy of two living in Las Vegas. She works from home freelance writing and sharpening her day trading skills. She’s committed to fitness and devoted to her children. Life is big to her and she lives life to the fullest. For more info on Michelle click here.

10 Ways for Single Moms to have a Fun and Healthy dating life