college is possible

College is Possible!

by Jenna Faccenda

One of the biggest concerns I hear from young moms is that since they found out they are pregnant, that means they have to drop out of college or that they can’t apply. Hearing that statement always upsets me.

If anything, having a baby should mean you are more determined to achieve that higher education. College is NOT an impossible task for a mom. Many have done it and you can too!

The excuses I hear from moms are that they don’t have time, or money, or anyone to watch their child but here are some fun facts that may persuade you to take that next step!

1. Most Colleges Have a Day Care Center

Yes you heard that right. Most colleges, especially universities provide a day care center on campus for students with children. The hours normally match up with the school’s hours and are available each semester and even some weeks in the summer. This is perfect for when you go to class you can bring your little one to school with you and know that he or she is in good hands. And if the convenience isn’t enough most school day cares offer a subsidized child care program where they will help pay for the child care cost for individuals with financial struggles.young mom graduate

2. The Government Pays for Your Tuition

There is money available for young moms who wish to attend college. This financial support is called Financial Aid. You apply once a year and are awarded with a Pell Grant, Subsidized and Unsubsidized Loan. These go towards paying off your tuition. The best part is you only have to pay off one loan and you don’t have to worry about it until six months after you graduate! And even if financial aid doesn’t cover all of your schooling there are a lot of grants and scholarships available for parents, single moms, and young moms. You rarely will ever have to pay of out pocket! young mom graduate 2

3. You Choose your Own Schedule!

Just because you go to college doesn’t mean you have to attend a set amount of classes following a certain time. As a college student you have the freedom to pick how many classes you want to take a semester and the times that work best for you. This way you can cater it around your busy schedule! No one says you have to graduate in 4 years, now a day that’s not even the average! mom graduate

Are you a young mom who decided to further her education? Tell us how you did it!

success-in-teen-moms-life

Why you need to have a Threesome to be Successful

Who do you think is “successful”?

…please don’t say Snooki…. omg please..

If you’re thinking about a successful person right now (who isn’t Snooki), you’re probably picturing only them.

What you aren’t seeing are the people that they had a 3 some with…successful young mom

And if you want to be successful, you need to have a threesome, too.

Here are the people you need for a successful threesome: a Mentor, a Role Model and a Cheerleader.

Wait a minute.. what did you think I was talking about?

::crickets::

The Mentor

Even the best singers and athletes in the world have mentors- they just call them “coaches”. This coach isn’t necessarily someone who’s great at the sport themselves.

The mentor is someone who is able to look at the person from a distance and see the flaws, the strengths and be able to give constructive, unbiased feedback to the athlete with the goal being to help them to get better.

Your mentor shouldn’t be someone who is close to you in your personal life because that person would be too emotionally connected and unable to really see the big picture. Even if someone close to you wants to be your mentor and has good intentions, it’s just not a good choice.

Your mentor should be someone who has BIG LOVE for you- but from a healthy distance.

 

The Role Model

Your role model needs to be someone who has done what you want to do. You can go as big as you want when choosing this person but what’s important is that their ideas and messages align with yours.

You don’t want to emulate someone you don’t like and trust just because they’re “successful”.

Sometimes your mentor and your role model can be the same person, only if it isn’t someone you are super close to.

When you choose a role model, you should start watching what they do and try to figure out what they did to get there.

Lots of people will give you their opinions about what you should do but emulating the steps your role model has taken (without being a copy cat and with the guidance of your mentor) is the quickest path to your success.

 

The Cheerleader

This person should be someone close to you who really always has the best intentions for you. It could be a family member, a friend or co worker. This person shouldn’t have any hidden jealousies or resentments towards you. Use your intuition with this one.

The role of the cheerleader is to offer support and love. The role is not to offer opinions or guidance. That is for your mentor to do only.

This gets tricky with the cheerleader because they’ll want to give you their advice to help. But it probably won’t be the best advice. Keep this is mind when choosing a parent (the ultimate unwanted advice givers) as your cheerleader.

Important: You can’t just assume you have a cheerleader, you need to ask them to be this for you.

When you talk to someone about being your cheerleader, the conversation should go something like this, “I’m trying to do “X” with my life and am seeking or getting guidance from (your mentor). What I really need from you is to be a support system for me when things get hard and I start to doubt myself. Can you be that for me?”

I can’t stress enough the importance of having a really good threesome!! 😉

But seriously.. take a minute to really think about which of these you’re missing..

Who is your mentor?

Who is your role model?

Who is your cheerleader?

If you don’t have them in place yet, it’s OK!

Let me know in the comments which you have set in place and which you still need to find. What do you think your next steps are? I’ll help you figure it out!

new-years-resolutions-dont-work

4 reasons why New Years Resolutions don’t work

Having trouble sticking to your new years resolution? You aren’t alone.

In October of 2009, I decided that I wanted to learn Spanish for a few reasons.danielle ford new years eve

1) I’ve always been kind of ashamed of being a Mexican who doesn’t know how to speak Spanish. A lot of the time, after I meet someone new, during that initial slew of awkward questions we exchange to break the ice, I get asked, “What nationality are you?” I answer with “English and Mexican.” The next question is always “Oh! Do you speak Spanish?” And that’s when I lower my head a tad, drop my eyes to floor and shamefully respond with “No, I don’t.” I feel like, being Mexican, I should know Spanish.

2) I really hate being out of the loop. When I’m at a restaurant or shopping or anywhere and people around me are speaking Spanish, it drives me crazy because I want to know what they’re saying! It’s not that I want to listen in on other people’s conversations. (Ok, maybe I want to a little.) But it’s mostly that I don’t know if they’re talking about ME. Or if they’re discussing something that I might want to know or something that could be of importance, like maybe they’re sharing the cure for Cancer. (That’s totally possible.) I really just like to always know what’s going on.

3) I’ve dreamed up these highly-unlikely-to-ever-happen situations in my head where I would NEED to know how to speak Spanish. For instance, I could be driving on a dark, lonely highway in the middle of the night and my car could just stall out of nowhere and I would have to wait and hope that someone comes by soon to help me. Well, what if that person only spoke Spanish? They could be talking to me and motioning for me to get in their car and I wouldn’t know if they were saying, “Please get in my car so I can drive you to safety” or “Please get in my car so I can murder you and dismantle your body.” Or what if I was visiting Mexico with my family and we got arrested by the Mexican government because someone tipped them off that we were American drug lords. They could be questioning us about our involvement in the war on drugs and if I knew how to speak Spanish, I could tell them, “We aren’t American drug lords.” And save the day.

(I’ve played out another “save the day” story in my head: I’m on an airplane and mid-flight, the pilot has a seizure or heart attack and a stewardess shouts frantically, “Does anyone know how to fly this plane?!” – And that’s why “Learn how to fly a plane” is on my bucket list.)

Anyway, I had decided that I wanted to learn how to speak Spanish.

I went Barnes and Noble and bought this huge box set with 20+ CDs to listen to. I could have started the 1st CD in October, when I got it, but I started thinking that the holidays were coming and I might not have enough time and then *LIGHTBULB* I realized that I could make “Learn Spanish” my New Years resolution. Brilliant!

On January 1st, I followed through and popped the CD in. It started off OK. I began listening to and repeating about 10 simple, common phrases like “Nice to meet you.” “Where is the bathroom?” “What is your name?” By the end of that session, I had those phrases down perfect and I was thinking that at the rate I was going, I’d know Spanish within a month. The next day, there was a new set of phrases. “I’m happy to meet you as well.” “The girl’s bathroom is there.” “My name is Danielle.”  I memorized them all and was feeling like a Mexican Rock Star. The third day, the CD explained that I was supposed to match the phrases from the first day with the phrases from the 2nd and that’s when I realized that I couldn’t remember anything at all from the first day!

So, I got really pissed off and QUIT.

That was the end of my Spanish education. After looking forward to cracking open my Spanish course for almost 3 months, I was over it in 3 days.

And that’s why I don’t like New Years resolutions and will never make one again.

Looking back, I realized that I made 4 mistakes on my quest to learn Spanish.

1) I shouldn’t have waited until the New Year to start. If I wanted to do something, I should’ve just done it. Waiting for a significant date to start is just fancy procrastination.

2) I shouldn’t have been in such a hurry. If I had taken a week to consume each segment, instead of just 1 day, the information would’ve soaked in better.

3) I didn’t tell anyone about it. I wanted to keep it a secret until I was totally fluent and then, at the right moment- perhaps at a family gathering- I would shock and impress everyone with my mad Spanish skills. That was dumb, though. If I had told others about my goals, they could’ve helped to hold me accountable.

4) I didn’t allow for failure. Of course I never plan to fail, but I hadn’t even considered that I might have some trouble learning Spanish so when I failed at first, there was no plan B. If I had been logical and anticipated it being difficult, I wouldn’t have been so discouraged when I didn’t remember all the information on the third day.

The reason why New Years resolutions don’t work is that they’re usually not attainable.

Change takes time. It takes about 21 days to change a habit. And you have to change it little by little so that you get used to it.

So, if your goal is to lose weight and you’ve been pretty unhealthy in the past, you shouldn’t make your New Years Resolution to eat healthy and go to the gym every single day. Instead, you should change 1 thing at a time. For instance, you could say for the 1st week, you are going to change what you eat for breakfast. Then spend that week trying different healthy breakfast options until you have enough that you are used to making and that you like. Then another week, you change your lunch, and so on..

If your goal is to get your whole house organized, you don’t want to just jump in and spend 5 days straight cleaning out your garage and organizing your closets and junk drawers because you will get burnt out, put off other responsibilities, not be able to keep up with the regular housework and then you’ll get discouraged. Instead, you should write a list of every area in your home that needs to be organized, then put 1 area from your list into each week of your yearly calendar. And stick to it!

The only way to accomplish a goal is to break it down into the smallest possible tasks and do them 1 by 1 at a steady pace. <—Click to tweet this quote!

I’ve personally given up on New Years resolutions. I always create 30, 60 or 90 day goals for myself. I focus on things I want to change or get better at and at the end of the year, I didn’t accomplish just one thing, I accomplished many and it doesn’t feel like it was very hard because I allowed myself to take it all step by step and not be too hard on myself if I sucked at something.

So tell me in the comments below.. What is your New Years resolution? How are you doing with it so far?

If you’d like help breaking it into segments and specific tasks, leave a little more detail and I’ll help you make a plan.

4 reasons why New Years Resolutions don’t work

how to get what you want starbucks

How to Get What You Want -3 Things you probably Don’t Know that you NEED to!

Whether your goal is to make more money, lose weight, have a great relationship..

If you can shift the way you think about your desires and goals, I can show you how to get what you want.

Here’s what I mean…

Before I started Young Moms Club, I knew that I wanted to have an online business that would allow me to make a living by working at home. I wanted flexibility in my schedule, the ability to pick up my computer and travel and work from anywhere. And I knew I wanted to make a difference in the world. But I didn’t know how.

I spent a lot of time jumping from project to project, trying and learning new things and working my ass off. Everything I did was done to the fullest extent but it just wasn’t coming together and honestly, I was starting to get pissed.

I realize now that it was because I didn’t have an exact clear vision of what I wanted. “I want an online business.” “I want to travel.” “I want to stay home with my kids.” -These are not clear pictures of success. Without a clear plan, all of the “I Want’s” are just Fairy Tales.

The second I got clear on exactly what my plan was, the pieces starting falling into place. People I needed started appearing in my life, Resources I didn’t have before all of a sudden became available. As I kept progressing forward on this plan, I started seeing signs from the Universe that confirmed my intuition that I was going in the right direction.

how to get what you want

Working at my Starbucks office as I write This

“Having a CRYSTAL CLEAR picture of what you want and then working your ass off at it every day is the secret to success.”

Click Here to Tweet this quote out!

Challenge!!!

In the comments below, tell me 3 SPECIFIC things you want to see happen within the next year. Be direct. Don’t say “I want to make more money.” Instead say, “I want a promotion at work to ______ job.”

Don’t say “I want to lose weight.” Say “I want to lose “X” amount of lbs in “X” amount of months.

“Only with clear intentions will you ever meet your goals and start getting all of the things that you want.” <—Click to tweet

Do this now while it’s still fresh in your head because I have another post coming with action steps to take but you need to know your 3 things first…

How to Get What You Want -3 Things you probably don’t know that you NEED to!