grateful for the douche danielle ford mom blog

Grateful for The Douche (And I don’t mean Summer’s Eve)

Unless you’re one of the few that don’t have a computer, smart phone or access to social media.. you’ve probably noticed that a lot of people have hopped onto the Gratitude Bandwagon to give thanks and get in the spirit of Thanksgiving.

As I read through Facebook statuses, I see the typical “I’m Thankful for my Kids.. My family.. Friends.. Food..” all of the blessings that we tend to take for granted most of the year if we aren’t thinking about it.

What I haven’t seen people giving thanks for are the bad times, the sh*tty things that life has given them that have without a doubt had an impact on shaping who they are today.

And that got me thinking about my past and the huge let downs that I’ve had which seemed like the end of the world at the time but now, years later have proved to be the biggest blessings.

One specific example of a crappy situation that I desperately wanted to change stands out for me above the rest: My marriage.

Once Upon a Time I would’ve given anything to make my marriage work.

I had a 1 year old and a newborn and had just found out about my husband’s multiple affairs while he was overseas in Iraq. I went through a period of depression, I tried to get over it, I forced my husband to go to marriage counseling, I was willing to do anything to get past it and forget about it and was even willing to fake happiness if it meant keeping my family together.

During this time of trying to work past the adultery, he also developed a drinking problem. It escalated from 0 to 60 in a matter of weeks and before I knew it, I was dealing with a man who would drink an entire bottle of vodka and be passed out on the kitchen floor by 10 am. Several times he would get plastered at public family events and friends would have to carry his drunk ass into my car and then when we got home, I would just leave him in there sleeping. It was quite embarrassing, to say the least.

On top of the cheating and the drinking, he would throw away what little money we had. The first time was when he blew threw our entire savings at a strip club. Other times he would go out and spend hundreds- thousands of dollars on electronics and movies and forget to buy basic groceries that we needed.

He became violent and would trap me in a corner or my bedroom, just to show who was in charge, time and time again. The violence escalated and in his sudden, drunk rage, he strangled me several times.

You can pretty much name anything that a husband can do wrong and I guarantee you, mine did it at one point.

The above isn’t something I like to relive, so you might be wondering why I’m telling you all of this?

Well, given the theme of the month, Gratefulness- I can 100% say that I am sooo grateful that my ex husband was such a horrific, massive douche. I was so determined to keep our family together that I was willing to overlook and work past a lot of bullsh*t that I shouldn’t have.

I’m so happy that he was such an ass and not any better than that because if he was even a little bit better, I might not have made the leap to leave him.

Hallelujah.. I am so grateful I was able to get past my resistance of being “divorced” and over my fear of being “alone” and “starting over”. It was exactly what I needed and I shudder thinking about the life I would have now if he was even kind of a good husband.

Because of him literally forcing his family away, I’ve gained my independence, grown soo close to my kids and fallen in love with an amazing man- the kind of guy you hope will come along one day but you’ve pretty much written off to only existing in fairy tales.

So, Thank you ex-husband for being such a super douche!!

Thank you!!

grateful for the douche danielle ford mom blog

Now it’s your turn to give thanks to a person, event, or lesson in life that actually turned out to be a blessing in disguise!

Share in the comments below!